Monday, March 17, 2008

days 4-12 as a mute

you fucking people are radical. i love reading your comments so much and i am struck helpless in the face of how much i want to be friends with all of you but here we are, stuck on the internet. the internet. i can't figure it out completely but i'm working on it, because it's obviously Real. i think we're making it what it is, as novel as that seems in this fucked culture. the future really baffles me.
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mute life suits me so much i am seriously considering staying here for a while longer.i am going to reflect upon this separately.
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i am upstairs and downstairs max and becca and sienna and some other people are celebrating sienna's 20th birthday with a box of wine and a bunch of becca-dj'd ipod music played through terrible speakers.
i may leave my writing of this blog on occasion to visit said party and refill my plastic cup of boxed wine. i am not supposed to be drinking. but my throat feels healed. alcohol is also an astringent and general antibiotic.
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i have had a generally basic routine here at home for the past week.
i wake up at around noon.
when i am being good, i stretch or go to yoga. sometimes i sit.
when i am not, i begin immediately emailing. i have written, literally, over 950 emails in the past 6 days.
i am answering shit from august. i am answering fanmail from 2005.

while i do this, i spend the morning cleaning.
i have been on tour for about 5 years. seriously, i do not keep house. my kitchen is covered in CDs. i do not clean when i am home; i arrange and avert disaster and straighten....when i am feeling ambitious.
there is dust and caked shit in corners like out of a fucking bad b-grade horror movie. me and this shit, we hang. we communicate, then i pull the trigger. i am like an excited silent ninja with my windex all-purpose cleaner and my dr. bronners-soaked washcloth.

while i do this, i listen to things on my stereo.
mostly to vinyl. i have a collection of about 400 vinyl records. many of which i've never given much attention because they were purchased during my pack-rat-heavy high-school and college days when i would go to yard sales and buy every pice of vinyl that looked even remotely interesting (e.g."1963: walk in space", "exploring swedish in hi-fi" and "dances of the scottish highlands" - these are just a few of things i've been spinning). i've also been listening to ols musicals and frank sinatra. i haven't wanted to hear anything new.

while i do this, i email.
i get a SHIT-TON of emails. i tried to average it out recently day and i get around 100-200 emails a day, not including spam. many of these are emails i am copied into, but most of them need responses. i have struggled over the years about what to respond to and what to let go. i used to answer every single piece of email that came through the dolls website, and to do that i would stay up until 4 am and get no sleep. at a certain point, about 3 or 4 years ago, i realized it was a losing battle. so we transfered the band web email over to our beloved management and they would go through it and forward me a condensed email with every week's worth of email in one file, which i read when i get the time. the really important shit (gig bookings, lost cousins and friends trying to find me, people offering concrete services or having problems, etc).. that they forward to me immediately.

but i still get hundred of emails from people that i have Shit Happening With, friendships with, people i have met on planes .... and so on. i am a hoe this way.... i am known to give my email to just about every person i sit next to on a plane or a train. seriously. i do. i dig a serious hole. after years, this started to seem patently stupid. wy must i keep wanting to communicate with every person i meet on a plane??? why? because i want to, desperately. but i can't keep up with all of it. i am a total communicationholic and it gets in the way of...art? life? i don't know. but i do know that i realized about a year ago that i as reaching out too much and not having the energy or the time to reach back to what i was reaching out to. i was, as they say, spreading my self way too fucking thin. so i tried to cut back. i didnt' really succeed. but i recognize that i have a problem, that i have no control over this problem and am willing to give myself over to a higher power ... and i am wiling to make steps to change. hi.

i go through these phases where i let the emails pile up and pile up and pile up and as they mount i tell myself i am going to get to them at a very specific reckoning date in the future.

now i reckon.i take occasional breaks to watch youtube clips, but mostly, i read and write.
i have been watching the emotional parallels between answering 338 emails leftover from november and cleaning out the gunk from the wooden-carved spice rack above my stove and it's really - honestly- the same thing,
with every passing day i feel about 3 pounds lighter. i zap every old-but-easy-to-reply-to email with the passionate enjoyment of squeezing an over-ripe zit.

i have also been cleaning out the drawers and the tables. my drawers and tables and desk are full of Items

it is impossible to explain, but everyone understands it.
STUFF. THINGS. ITEMS that have no home but but be reckoned or dealt with.

i travel all the time and accumulate dozens of ITEMS per day that must be dealt with.
cds that people give me.
gifts.
weird clothing items.
things to read.
things to watch.
recordings.
letters.
THINGS.
these THINGS, over the course of many tours and then returnings-home, become an albatross of doom.
i look forward to going through these ITEMS.....in theory......and am REALLY attached to their THINGNESS, but never seem to clear them away to make counter space.
so i drown in a Sea of Things.

in the past four days, i have ejected 4 giant bags of THINGS to Away - to the trash, to the recycling (god only knows where that shit actually goes - i grow more skeptical by the second), to goodwill.
to max, to lee, to people In The Mail, or other purveyors of Thing who might find my discarded treasures interesting for a while. who knows.

and while i do this, i listen to Frock.
Frock is what brian and i have come to call what used to be called "Friend Rock", later shortened to Frock for brevity.
"friend rock" used to refer to friends (or acquaintances) who would give us their CDs, which would then join the Mountain Of Items In My Apartment.

i have to hand it to myself. for the first 2-3 years of the band, i was religious about listening to every single CD that was given to me.
i even started FILES in my FILING CABINET with ALPHABETIZED DIVIDERS for every band we knew and wanted to play with.
in said file i would put their CD, press kit, and any other promo or photos they had sent.
why? because we would bill shows together with these bands and i would send their materials out to the local press when they were on our bill. pay attention, this is Struggling Band In the Internet Age 101: Step One, be your own publicist.
i just emptied out that entire filing drawer (including tons of old bank statements from 2003 and instruction manuals for windows 98 and letters from the DMV from 1997) and threw that shit AwAY.

back to Frock.
Frock then came to refer to anything given to us, at all. when i tour, i am handed several CDs a show. multiply that by an 8 week tour and i return home with a bag of shit.
a lot fo it i deal with on tour. i can tell form the death-metal artwork and the band titles like "cleopatra's tears" that i am not going to dig the club promoter's girlfriend's sister's band.
in such cases, i do what we call "flinging frock".
you take said CD and with a great amount of relish you say "FLING" and you jettison the Item in whatever direction you wish. the Item usually does not survive the journey to where ver your Fling takes it.
but before i start sounding like an asshole, i keep about 85% of what i get, because most of it usually looks interesting. and i want to hear it.
so it comes home with me and joins The Mountain Of Items In My Apartment.

when listening to Frock at home, i listen to the first 15 seconds of the disc, and if i like it, i listen to the whole first track. if i like that, i listen to the rest of the disc and look for the and online. if i dont, i Fling.
i often unearth frock from three years ago and love it and get online only to find that the band became defunct two years ago. thats always depressing.
if i really, really, really like it i will email the band if they've included a contact or i'll message them through their website.

while i do this, i clean the bathroom and do laundry and throw away clothes.
somehow i manage to accumulate a ton of clothes on tour.....they get given to me. i can't throw them away.
so they join the Mountain.
for some reason, i can let go of something psychologically if it's been rotting in my apartment for 6 months. my brain goes: ok....you gave it a shot. but you've never touched it. Fling.

i still have dresses i bought six years ago that i am convinced are awesome in theory but i've NEVER worn them.
but i cant throw them away. this is an awful, and may i submit possibly very american, dilemma. i have a love affair with My Shit.
I did well this week, I am proud.

i have found that the only way i can get rid of my Shit is to give it to other people, thus making me think that my potentially-valuable-Shit might have second life with someone who love this Shit as much as i did.
i was really psyched when brians' little sister maia came on the scene because i started unloading all of my unwanted clothes on her. she was psyched at first.

ANYWAY.
to this end, i began a fantasy and started a huge box on my kitchen floor into which i started purging & Flinging every weird-ass THING and otherwise unusable and semi--but-not-totally-sentimental tchotchke i own.
in my fantasy, i am going to send every one of these Things Away in the mail, along with a CD of Frock to anyone who sends me an empty self-addressed envelope. i'm still waiting to hear back from my management
about whether they are willing to aid me in the organization of such a task (if i had the envelopes sent here, the mailman would fire me). more on this later.

while i do this, i drink tea.
i collect tea and infusions, and find that brewing cup after cup while working at home is soothing.

while i do this, i look for pens i can throw away. i mange to accumulate ballpoint pens. where do they all come from? hotels? i hate them.


i had five bottles of carmex. i buy carmex in winter in drugstores in the midwest when i have no carmex when my lips are chapped. i consolidated them into two jars.
why do i have so many teaspoons and yet so few forks? when did this happen?
i had three jars of cinnamon.i threw one away.
i had 7 corkscrews. i threw 4 away. 3 were technically sentimental.
i had two staplers. why? i took care of this problem.
there are big questions at work here. why do i need more than one thing of each thing? why didn't i just reject that second stapler when it appeared in my life?
i don't know, but i understand that past person who said : "yes!!! that second stapler may indeed be very necessary!"

life is uncertain.

i am going to write a spiritual sequel to the I Ching called the I Fling.

i threw away my VHS collection. lucky for my green-mind, i found this lovely site: www.greendisk.com. they take technotrash.
i had over 100 VHS tapes leftover from the 80s, mostly 3-to-a-tape movies on EP speed from cinemax and showtime, channels which - by some fateful coincidence - my family got free in the mid-eighties due to a mistake at our cable company.
though it was difficult to part ways with revenge of the nerds, fatal attraction, spies are us, romancing the stone, dangerous liasons, the flamingo kids and trading places, i did it.
plus, i re-bought dangerous liasons on DVD last year.

i read a book about frank sinatra. it was great.
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Sinatra-Matters-Pete-Hamill/dp/0316347965

at night, at around 3 or 4 am, i take a bath if i am feeling ambitious. then i go to bed. in fact, i am going to go run a bath right now.
when i go to bed, i bring my mac with me and watch twin peaks. i am almost done with the second season.

i go on occasional walks to obtain food.
i am sometimes accompanied on these walks by loved ones.
i communicate via blackberry. these meals are enjoyable. i enjoy them more than usual

i've spent three afternoons and evenings so far at brian's house, sorting through endless photos to make selections for the new songbook.
brian's house is already very clean. brian has No Mountain, he's not the type.
we spend half the time working and half the time eating foods and making each other laugh.

i do not play the piano. i did vacuum the piano yesterday. the idea of playing it is Not Attractive. i don't feel guilty.

i agreed today to give my very first piano lesson. to a random Boston University student, who emailed the band, in april.
i don't know why i said yes this time. people have been asking me if i'll give lessons for years. i just felt like it.

i cleaned under the bathtub. i havent hit the bedroom yet. the bedroom is where the Letters are. the Letters and the Photos and the Songs.
thats very frightening territory.

i am supposed to be writing the text for the new songbook, i am procrastinating.

i threw away kitchen utensils that i have always had and never used, but that looked cool. like the tongs. and the big antique poundy wooden smasher. how could i throw that away?
it was hard.

i have gotten out a few times. i went down the street the other night with a friend to a night students' music pieces at jordan hall.
very experimental shit, the night was titles "notes on the theater of cruelty" and was based on artaud. i expected it to be awful but it was, for totally avant-improv shit, awesome.
the students made frequent use of the audience space (often you'd be surprised by a student next to you in a chair busting out a sax or muttering found text as part of a piece).
one student played cello upside-down. while i was there i was inspired to jot down the entire running order and events of my touring show in the fall.
it's going to be fucking amazing. i left inspired and excited. thought-based live art will do that to you. bad rock show in bad bars will not. i should go out more to Good Things.
......

on the Uggs.
jesus, people. hit a nerve, eh?
and the CROCS. such dramatic feelings! it gave an an interesting insight into the demographic here. you australians couldn't help it.

spinewillsnap said...
RE:Ugg boots...ugg.

That actually reminds me...a couple of friends drove me out to a mall so i could raid the hot topic there and buy a david bowie shirt, but as payment i had to go to abercrombie, a&f, american eagle, hollister, etc. with them.

it got to the point where i was so sick of the smell, the lights, the music, that i sat in front of a potted plant and began to meditate.


i love you. sit on.

elise said...
blogging at 1:19 in the morning? You MUST have a lot of time on your hands. Make sure to enjoy it while you can, although I do miss your singing. Hell, maybe your true calling was blogging...

a truer word was never spoken. i sometimes wonder if i will ever be inspired to write music again now that i have found this handy and direct vehicle.

the deviant tart said...
god i hate today's fashions. the best is when they have faux-fur on the top of those boots, and wear their pants tucked into them. it looks like they are trying to pretend they are on some sort of ski trip. Now, am i correct in assuming that the sweatpants of which you speak are the variety with words written on the ass? because i have noticed that the people who are most likely to wear those are the people who least need to draw attention to their ass!

pope, who was raised in manhattan, once told me that baggy pants were the OPPOSITE of cool if you were truly bad-ass in new york growing up, because you CANNOT RUN FAST IN PANTS LIKE THAT IF THE COPS ARE CHASING YOU. take that as you will.

altho, further to madonna/feminism/allthatjazz, someone the othr day proposed to me that they were the "ultimate feminist shoe"; comfy and unconcerned about their appearance. i think this is wrong, but i did stop to consider it. thoughts, o muted singer?

Posted by Ben on Friday, March 07, 2008 at 7:11 AM


ahHA! i think you're onto something here. it seems that BOTH footwear and madonna have stumbled into feminism by default.

just want to reply to the guy above who said ugg boots could be considered the ultimate feminist shoe...what the hell are you talkin about?? they may be comfy but i'll tell you this they give no protection whatsoever, my doc boots would stamp them out good and proper and they on the other hand represent feminism more accurately than those mushy things...doc martins depict the strength that feminism stands for and are not to be messed with...

also i know for a fact that 99% of the girls who wear uggs have never even heard of feminism..
get well soon amanda:)
although it is good when u cant speak,you start to see the world from a different perspective:)

Posted by Lorraine on Friday, March 07, 2008 at 7:31 AM


oh shit lorraine. you are actually correct. they may be comfortable but they probably provide zero arch support, and obviously no protection from actual riot grrls wearing steel-toed boots in the pit. fuck my theory.

I'm the 1% that totally rocks my 3 different pairs of Ugg boots & is a huge feminist.

What can I say... they are perfect in the snow - even though they are ugly!

Posted by milkshake & honey on Friday, March 07, 2008 at 9:02 AM


and the last word is spoken.

crocs.

my clogs.

these sheepskin boots (evidently some yanky asshole put a world patent on the word Ugg) are best viewed with naked silky smooth pegs of shapely design reaching high to an angulated gap factor, clad in scottish tweed, etc

Posted by glenn on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 at 3:58 AM


of course, glenn, you would say something like this. fucker. i'm siccing madonna on you.

have you ever watched "the piano" ?

the main character is mute. its a fucking good movie.

random question: do you ever have trouble deciding how you are going to paint your eyebrows on that day in the morning? i imagine it would be like deciding what to wear. i mean, you can express a surprising amount of emotion through the eyebrows. confusion. anger. surprise. cynicism. anxiety. quizzical. its all there man. i know these things because i am one of those people who stands in front of the mirror sometimes and makes different shapes with the eyebrows. its a good procrastination mechanism. i feel that i somehow am accomplishing something because when somebody asks me why i didnt do it, i know i will have a GREAT facial expression, eyebrows and all, to explain why im a lazy ass.

but seriously, watch the piano.

Posted by George. on Friday, March 07, 2008 at 8:17 AM


amazing film, one of my favorites. re: the eyebrows, it's a very short moment of the day. i consider it at least a .0001% moment of the day that must involve some creativity. it's sort of an Art-Drill. one must alwats be armed with a liquid eyeliner, which is against my lo-maintenance state of being. however, life is full of paradox. dig.

hey amanda,
being an avid finger-picker myself, i was wondering if you still had the habit, and if you don't, how did you stop because i really think i should but i just can't do it! i've tried everything but alas, my fingers are still all red and picked apart. every single one of them. it'd be great if you had some advice. see you with the pops. i can't wait(my mom was so impressed haha)!

love,
kk


you know, the finger-picking is like a stress-indicator. i pick most of the time, but really badly (like, to the point of bleeding) when i'm super-stressed - then i know things are Not Good Around Here.
it's like a barometer. when i'm feeling really ambitious, i have found that one thing helps: i get a manicure. with clear nail polish if you're not into the color shit. they scrape every single hangy-thing away. and for about a day, you go to pick and there's nothing there to pick and you are taken aback. it's an eye-opener, at least. do it, the cheap place it town should only cost like fifteen bucks.

dave said...

Amanda,

I'm wondering if you can advise me a bit on keyboards. I'm looking to buy myself my first one - I don't know how to play - yet I intend to stick with it, so I'm not just looking for some $40 beginner's synthesizer off eBay. basically, I want something simple, preferably with the full 88-key range, weighted keys, and a good sound. I'm less concerned with having a million effects and voices and more with just finding a good, solid keyboard to play and record with. I've been looking at the Yamaha S80 and the Kurzweil PC88, which are both reasonably priced on eBay at the moment. my price range is around $600, more or less.
any thoughts on this would be most appreciated.

cheers,

Dav


i love the live sound of the kurzweil but it's a real subjective choice. it depends whether you want built-in speakers. i would assume yes, yamaha makes some good ones. go to the store and test that shit, thats really the best way.

eli said...
uuhh ? what drugs were u on ?:P

or was it something else ?

funny video but prefer the Nine Inch Nails Downward Spiral Spiral project ..gues you know it ?

love from the Netherlands

2:54 AM


you know, someone from the netherlands WOULD ask that. trent had more budget and it was 3 am, ok? don't knock it, fella. fuck it

This is absolutely ridiculous.
And you know, it's silly that I'm bitching about this, because, I honestly don't give a fuck about what people wear. They do what they want, I do what I want. It's something I've striven for most of my life, as for most of high school I thought I was the biggest riot grrrl in the world and wore bondage pants from Hot Topic and band t shirts etc. RED AND BLACK allll the time. And I was constantly made fun of. I just wanted to be left alone. But at the same time, I remember one day...I was out of clothes, and one of the only shirts I had left was A&F or American Eagle or something like that. I liked the design, but it had the brand name on the front--something that, to this day, I still argh over. In any case, I covered the shit out of this shirt with duct tape (my own personal Jesus) and wrote Anticrombie and shit like that all over it. Man, I thought I was so badass.

Posted by Persona non grata. on Friday, March 07, 2008 at 1:57 PM


oh man, that opened up a floodgate of memories for me. i remember the whole year of 1989 when i would only buy black items of clothing. ocassionally polkadots and paisley and floral (somewhat random, doens't it seem? nay. i was following my idol, robert smith). i also got in the habit of rocking hospital gowns over long-johns and boxers (yes, with requisite doc martens. blue ones). i thought i was The Shit. i had all of these leftover clothes that were black.... but brand-name. so i went to town, ripping off all logos and brand-names with a vicious fervor, using scissors, bleach and sharpie.

it was the opposite extreme. and it was so sudden. it literally happened overnight, i remember it....i was getting ready for school the night before eigth grade started and i happened upon the combination of black jeans and black shirt and looked in the mirror. and i thought: that's it. this is me for a while. fuck all these people. fuck those other people at school. fuck my family. fuck my sister. fuck the mall. fuck the tv. weird. but probably not that weird. i went from trying to get in with the popular kids to wanting to torch them in 15 minutes. it was as close to a full epiphany as i;ve ever had in my life.

I have a question, totally non-UGG (stands for UGLY) and non-surgery related. A friend of mine and I were wondering if you and/or Brian had any "formal" training in performing? Such as acting classes, piano lessons, voice lessons, and the like. Experience counts as training.

Posted by Kellsj on Friday, March 07, 2008 at 7:05 PM


well, depends how you define formal. i was way into the drama shit in high school, and i had a genius director, who i still work with to this day. but i never acting school. by the same token, i was in a jazz improv band diuring school hours at high school because he has a kick-ass department, and i took some lessons on the side. but i was never very serious about practicing. i spent a lot of time alone, improvising and playing, but not a lot of time practicing. i still have practicing. i've been at home for over two weeks now and haven't wanted to play the piano once, that should tell you something. you said "experience counts as training". i couldnt' agree with you more, if you're passionalte about your experience. if you really want to be in a rock band and you already know what you want to do and play, fuck school. it might only defer your experience.

as for voice lessons, i've been taking lessons from a vocal coach occasionally since i started touring, i felt i had to since i was losing my voice so much. but i havent spent a lot of time on technique.

I work at a mall, and I've noticed that even though we're in the Northeast and even though it is COLD(tm), the big thing to do is wear Ugg(ly) boots with a big huge puffy coat.... and a denim mini skirt. It is as if someone did not tell these girls' vaginas that it is winter. Their upper bodies and feet were informed, but no one told their vaginas. Or their thighs. I can't wrap my head around it. 60% of your body is wrapped up like Nanook of the North, while your waist to knees are on a permanent Hollister-cponsored vacation in South Beach.

I'm so glad I'm in my late 20's and done with the adolescent THIS IS WHAT I MUST LOOK LIKE OR NO ONE WILL LOVE ME! bullshit. Because that is the only overriding logic I can think of to justify all these little girls all thinking that they must dress like this. I want to wrap them all in a blanket.

And PS-- Uggs are ugly no matter what you wear them with. I don't care what anyone says.

Posted by Hell On Heels: Red Hot since '81 on Saturday, March 08, 2008 at 2:41 PM


those poor deaf vaginas.
hallelujah to the end of adolescence. fucking hell.

Oh, and I have a question for the mute.
When organising tours, solo and with Brian, how do you choose the Support Acts? Do they have to come to you, and audition? Like a 'Dresden Doll Suport Act Idol' and get voted off every week?
Just wondering about the process.

xx

Posted by ALICIA. on Saturday, March 08, 2008 at 6:16 PM


oh my god. no, but you just gave me an excellent idea for a reality web tv show. with all of my free time, i shall do this.
honestly, i keep a list. the Frock contributes to this list, and people send me links and tips all the time. sometimes i will see bands. it's always different. i hear about reigna because i was at my old high school helping out with a show and a student was playing her on the stereo in the drama club room. i was like, WHAT IS THAT, I MUST KNOW. i foudn the red paintings because i posted to the forum asking about good aussie support acts, and they wound up following us to the states. faun fables were old friends from when we toured with sleepytime, who brian knew from his old days as a pure fan. devotchka were recommended by a friends we had at management in denver. key ingredient: just be good. people will talk.

Also, after watching the brilliant video, I am fairly sure you need a keytar.
Yours,
Cee


done. i have an omnichord. that's close. i'm also thinking of auctioning off My First Keyboard (a 2 foot casio i got for christmas when i was 9) for Obama. i can't handle looking at it anymore.....and, to be honest, i boight a better-working duplicate of it at a shitty fleamarket in leeds or somewhere godforsaken in the UK when i was there two years ago.

ok i stop.

while Flinging, I was very excited to find this shirt that i bought at dollar-a-pound 3 years ago.
i'd forgotten about it. i never wear it but i figured i might has well immortalize it, because it's awesome.

89 comments:

Bobbing_For_Applesx said...

i had a great day today. I actually had a very shitty day, but I ended it by climbing ontop of a giant rock and screaming "FUCK" as loud as i could.

It was amazing. When you get your new voice I suggest you try it.

Cat said...

Collecting things is my curse too. I think that I've quite run out of space for things. Of course there's the typical art supplies, but that whole "I've been here so I need to have Something to Remember It By" is sort of leaving everything in, well, piles and piles.
People give me paintings all the time. I've run out of wall space and I even keep chip bags which I make into things that can be worn like shoulder bags.

I envy your ability to finally sit down and clean your Mountains up. Perhaps you'll inspire the rest of us hopeless pack rats.

cursed out said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cursed out said...

dude, i understand the purge of crap intimately however.. did you really need to throw trading places away? granted this is coming from someone that refused to throw away several vhs tapes of 120 minutes on the grounds that they have videos on them that obviously will vanish off the face of the earth if i do not personally save them.

you should go get trading places on dvd. sometimes after a truly shitty day it's just the perfect thing to watch.

Olivia de Santis said...

I just watched this. Maybe it would be interesting to you in relation to your piles of stuff. http://www.storyofstuff.com/ Did you see it already?

Maybe you should hire a cleaner. They could clean around your piles.

Alicia said...

Speaking of piles of stuff, I have the opposite problem when it comes to clothes. I don't like most of the clothes I have right now, and I haven't been shopping for new ones in ages. And I'm not out to copy your style or anything, but you must go clothes hunting at some pretty amazing places. The photographs of you do not lie.

So where are all the hidden treasure nooks of cheap yet wonderful clothing in Boston?

And because I feel an urge to share with a fellow piano player, I got an e-mail about a free piano the other day. A real, beautiful, upright piano, made in 1909. But there is no room for such a thing in my apartment, and there's no way to make room. It broke my heart in half to have to turn it down. Free pianos do not come knocking every day.

S som i signatur said...

Im so gonna print that photo of you in the tshirt and print it on one of my tshirts. Awesome.

Anna said...

re: Obama

I agree with Reverend Wright--
God Damn America.

I'd rather have Obama than Clinton, and even voted for him in the primaries (something I'm still not sure I feel okay about), but I'm not giving him any money.

As much as I'd like to believe that YES OH YES WE CAN CHANGE AMERICA YES WE CAN!, he's still a politician, a pretty-faced demagogue, and I get freaked whenever I'm in a room with thousands of people chanting someone's name (as long as that someone isn't a musician...)

-Ahna

Decidedly Bookish said...

Looking very beautiful today, Miss Amanda.

Communicationaholic... tell me about it! I keep inviting people to my house for tea and toast. I've got practically the whole campus - that's 8000 pepole - popping in 'cause they're passing. People are inviting themselves round now. I love it! Pity the housemates, though, and pity the degree. I keep meaning to study but then someone comes over and I get to say, "Here, have tea. Now tell me all about you. What's going on for you right now? Let's talk about life. Let's look up random crap on Wiki and YouTube. Let's sing. Let's bribe my housemate to play guitar for us. How do you want to spend this afternoon?" Now, tell me that isn't a privilege.

One day I will make you tea, Amanda. Your music makes me happy. You deserve tea.

Love xxx

Misty said...

New fashion is terrible. I don't know what it is like over in America, but the wee lasses are all into wearing these horribly baggy T-Shirts with fluro slogans from the 80's on them- I doubt these girls were even alive during the 80's...

As for Your Mountain, I have something similar, but probably smaller because your popularity far surpasses mine. But I am in the process of moving and I have had to do a major culling. It is really hard to throw that shit away. I found a bunch of CDs I'll never listen to (Backstreet Boys took up a fair amount of time) and I am still hesitant to throw them away. I am thinking a Fling-ing is in order.

Warren said...

baggy pants are not for running away, they are for hiding contraband in their 900 pockets. if your pants are baggy enough you can have 3 guns and a human head in your pocket without anybody noticing.

but either way they went out of style 8 years ago ;)

sorry it's been so long without new videos, but we got a gig doing a reality show for fox. if you want we can probably work one of the videos in there and put it on TV.

Michelle said...

Hey..
I love your writing... I helps me to procrastinate too!

Just to inform you, the god-forsaken Ugg Boots have taken over the world.

Unfortunately we have them in Ireland too...
But, much to my immense horror it is not just adolescents that wear them...
I have seen a fair few women in their 30s wearing them, and YES they were tucked into skinny jeans...

Why is the world so obsessed with fashion?!?

I have yet to see the attraction of Uggs... My Docs have been with me for 2 years.. Still look all new and spiffy..
Uggs last a VERY short amount of time, and I can't imagine they hold up in the rain.

Docs all the way...
I have ALWAYS owned a pair, ever since I was 8 (with an effect like spilt gasoline all over them.. I still have them! Awh, I wish my feet fit into them =[ )

I hope you come to Ireland again, last time you came I couldn't go because the gig was over 18s only.

I love your open-ness..
Blogging really suits you.

Mouse said...

You most definately have never heard from me before. I have been a massive fan since around the end of eighth grade and my sister and I went to go see you at the Fillmore last December. It was incredible.

I was sitting in the guidance office of my school about two weeks ago, picking classes for next year. My guidance counselor- about 45, blonde fauxhawk,intimidating hipster eyeglasses, leopard print- was staring me down as I waffled over the choice of my last elective. And what springs into my mind just as I've finished scanning the course list?

"MAYBE I'LL FIND OUT WHY THIS DAMN THING WON'T STOP BLEEDING WAAAGH"

"Piano 1 Beginner."

She frowned, her eyebrows coming together like a trainwreck.

"If you decide you want to change it, let me know BEFORE next year starts."

"Okay."

sarah said...

Amanda, I totally understand how you want to like, not talk. I do that all the time at school and on the bus. It makes my mind wander soooo much. I try to keep quiet at home, but my parents yell at me when I don't talk to them and my brother drives me to the point of >:|. as soon as i get my liscence, i'm going to sign up for yoga classes. my parents don't have time to take me to that. :[ so i'll wait and take myself. for now, those dvds will do.

i have my pat benatar vinyl but nothing to listen to it on. :\ it's okay. i still love to look at it!

and on the topic of crocs: my mother loves hers. she bought them at p-town before they were alllll over the place...four years ago.
those things are powerful. they have been left in the driveway during winter-snow and rain- good as new. my brother took them and stepped in dog poopie, and they cleaned right up [ick. they have been run over and regained their shape...it's frightning actually. those things will never die. NEVER!

hm. don't you love youtube?! i love youtube. it's so..neat. :]

finger picking...oh boy.i should send you a picture of my fingers. i pick at them when i'm frustrated, sick, angry, bored, dispondent...a lot of time goes into finger picking. but i will never again bite my nails.

..i can't bring myself to throw anything away. i have four drawers in my room full of pointless shit. i have a full shelf of stuffed animals that all...'mean something' to me. if it's cool, i totally wanna send you a blank envelope, tell us more about that shit man.

contacting everyone you meet..that's freakin' awesome. i just say hi and ask for a hand shake. :] actually, i met some extremly kick ass kids at the orpheum concert in december. they sat in front of us. they were so awesome!@?#$ :]

i love that picture of you. it's cuteeee!

anyways, i think i have blabbed about enough randomness to the point of obnoxiousness.
feel better, lovie. :]
good night!

maxine nation said...

oh my god: things! yes, things!! things are my favorite.. things.. in the world. the only upside for cleaning is finding things. i cleaned my house after my dog died and found beautiful pictures of her. i found some strange doll-in-a-box i got when i was six or something. when i moved, it got the point where i threw everything away that was "in the way." i can't stop being a packrat, though. i find the strangest things, think i'll do some art project with them or some epic decorating thing, and they just sit there. my dorm room is covered in these things right now.

i started to learn the art of flinging, but i've lost it. i'm not READY to fling my things. if you need someone to adopt your things, i totally will.

Idril said...

I'm pretty amazed that though all this attention and needy needy needy fans (I'm one..) and these neverending piles of emails (ever heard of the myth of sysiph ?) you haven't turned despiseful for your audience, misanthropic, or else. It feels that when one get that much exposed to humankind one can get to see individual unique beings as drones of the same kinds, same dreams, same ambitions, same likes and hates, same ideologies, (i admit i say that after being severely traumatized in recognizing myself spot on on http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/ )
or they get angry at the attention, "why don't they get a life ?", "what are they thinking?",
It can raise some questions seeing so many unique people wanted unique relationships, and to be considered in all their uniqueness, as fragile and subtle this whole feeling of teh preciousness of one person can be ..
.. and in the same time be just as everyone else, undistinct, unremarkable...
Oh my, the whole story of humanikind, is it ?
How do you do to deal with that many many many many many people ? How do you see them ?
And you don't have to lie down on a couch for that, Mrs Freud

cheers for mute vocal chords !

Yorksdevil said...

There's too much to comment on!

So you were the other person who bought 'Dances of the Scottish Highlands'.

In the UK we were so lucky to have the John Peel radio show. He listened to countless tapes of aspiring bands so we didn't have to.

sarah said...

Mouse, I'm taking Piano 1 next year too! :]

Julia said...

I know this may be a ridiculous question to ask given the fact that you've been discussing feminism a lot recently, but what kind of diet are you on? Cos every picture I see of you, you look really fit and thin and everything, and I want to know your secret, haha.

Also, if you have any THINGS that you want to pass on to another person who loves THINGS, my email address is asongofmodernlove@gmail.com. :)

devikat said...

Ha - it's called literary seduction! At least, I lump the blogging voyeurism in with it.

I'm reading a book now called 'Literary Seductions: Compulsive Writers and Diverted Readers' about how different literary couples fell in love with each other through writing, and how well things went (or didn't) once they started having a "physical" relationship.

Chief among the couples is Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I mean, wow!!! 527 letters before they ever really met! And then they ran off and got married...

The author's big point, so far, seems to be how much people (especially literary/artistic people) become almost more of themselves through their writing, and how seductive reading can be...

"Reading, as Robert Browning discovered, is an adventure without a known route or destination. In diversion, as in seduction, there is a pleasure involved in putting yourself in someone else's hands and letting go, and this is the pleasure of reading as well: it is a form of abandonment. Once you are diverted from the straight and narrow, there is no guarantee of return, and if you lose yourself in a book you might not find that same self again."
-from "Literary Seductions" by Francis Wilson (p. xxi) (St. Martin's Press, New York, 1999.)

PtacekAttack said...

I am a HUGE pack rat, I just got rid of about 12 boxes of shit from my house and it looks as if I haven't done anything at all. I think I'll donate some books to the library now...

Jed said...

Here’s a Stuff Saga for you:
So first I decided I was going to Flee Urban Bohemia for more Bohemia of a More Rustic Sort, leaving the loft that was Pan Nine in Boston and heading up to my Mom’s place near Rockland on the coast of Maine. Woods and fields and streams and all that. And a gigantic Barn (yes, the Barnum’s Barn) where I would build a dream studio-cum-apartment. This was about five years ago. So I started packing. And packing. And packing. I once called Pan Nine the Accumulatorium, because it was so HUGE that you could drag home just about anything and find a place for it SOMEWHERE. Some of the things I foolishly took up to the Barn: 3 boxes of images clipped from magazines for inspiration, ten boxes of books, half of which I’d never read and probably never would. Ditto old magazines. A thousand feet of muslin. Many pounds of clay. Mud stains on old glass windows that I thought might make a Cool Art Piece some day. A 50 pound box of blue marbles from the arts group Mobius. Lint from the dryer for use in a Felt Project (yup). Yadda yadda. I suppose many of us creative types have some kind of accumulation like this, right?

So some 150 boxes of STUFF go into a U-Haul, carefully organized and labelled so I can Find Everything. Alas, when I arrive at the Barn and actually start the process of unloading, I realize that said Barn has of course become my MOM’s repository of Unused but Someday Useful Items. Old paintbrushes needing cleaning. A 5-gallon pail of old batteries to be recycled. Old wreathes to be taken apart so the hoops can be re-used. Driftwood and seaglass from the beach. Toilet paper rolls. The ubiquitous kids clothes and toys to be Given Away. Four lawnmowers, one working. The entire contents of 3 households, at least. My sister who works in geriatrics says that they call it Hoarding Disorder. I met my friend Nate and learned that he, in fact, owns virtually nothing, because his Mom has a very similar Barn (is it a Maine thing?). I began to get very nervous about this whole arrangement, wishing I’d stayed in my nice crazy loft. Why is everything always so much clearer and more obvious in the country?

Eventually I gave up. There just wasn’t room in the Barn for me AND my Mom (and Our Mutual STUFF), and she’d been there longer than I had, so I couldn’t really argue. Not that I particularly wanted to. When I fled the Hording Barn in Rustic Bohemia (which turned out to be not at all Bohemian, when I think about it), and escaped, first to Portland (Maine) for a year, and then back to Boston, I gradually got rid of probably 50 percent of my Stuff, over the course of about 3 years and three moves. Amazing how that works.

Now I am faced with One More Move, and I still have about five boxes, packed some time just after the Millennium, that I have not Dealt With. They won’t take long, I know, because there just can’t be much I need if I’ve ignored them for so long. Perhaps they could be Flung, in their entirety (well, not Flung. Maybe more like FlugggghhkkkkooofCRASH), but I just KNOW there is something in there that I have forgotten all about and that my life won’t be complete without re-discovering that one item I’d thought lost forever, right?

So, we move in about two weeks. I gotta get this shit done, and tonight’s the night to do it. I brew some tea, and while waiting for the water to boil, I hop online and find myself reading Amanda’s latest blog….

Yup. Now for those last three boxes! And thankfully I’m just moving three blocks away from my Cambridge apartment this time.

Hugs
Jed

Kate E. Austin said...

I cringe whenever I read about somebody throwing something away. Have you heard of freecycle? http://www.freecycle.org. How about a garage sale? People would travel for miles to come to an Amanda garage sale! I know it takes a tiny bit more time than just tossing stuff, but I just hate the idea of cool shit ending up in a dumpster.

While we're talking trash... I've been making "plarn" lately (grocery bags made into plastic yarn) and your blog made me think - hey! How rockin would a bag crocheted out of VHS TAPE be!? Thanks for the inspiration.

Twin Peaks! My favorite is when they talk all strangely - record the scenes backward and play them forward. You could do some neat stuff with that...

My studiomate and I decided to have BACK OF THE CLOSET week - we started a flickr group and everything, and all week wore shit we never wear. I had all these ridiculous housedresses I've never worn in the five years I've had them (since nabbing them from a clothing shelf at a teen shelter I worked at years and years ago)... It's a fun experiment. Pushes the boundaries of comfort. I recommend it.

LaughAtDanger said...

ah cleaning.
my Things build up in the same way yours do. though i'm sure on a much smaller scale seeing as i'm not getting quite so many things given to me every day. i can't imagine the hugeness of your Mountain. *shudders* good luck.
and on the note of feminism,
shouldn't feminism shun the thought of having one shoe to represent it, whether it be Uggs or Docs? shouldn't feminism support the right of each woman to choose which shoe is right for her?!

peace
liz

JiltedAlice said...

It's sad to see things go --
Sometimes when I decide to go through things I sit in wonderment at the world of my little pony, carebear sheets, dracula posters, and army boots and wonder where the fuck my inner child was headed.

Throwing out the ancient wooden meat pounder doo-dad was a definite mistake, I mean, C'mon Amanda -- it could have been used as a fucking fantastic magick wand !

I hope your muteness brings you comfort atleast some of the time.

An Angry Alice

Wolf said...

Who cares if it's the internet? I met my best friend (or one of them, anyways) on the internet and it's fucking awesome! I wouldn't trade her for anything. Long live the internet!

Andy Pants said...

You could always do what Nick Cave did and turn all your acumulated stuff into an art exhibition. Just tell them it's found. You could call it 'FLING! Stuff from the life of Amanda Palmer'.

I just read Steppenwolf which I seem to remember you recommending on your myspace. (Although I may be thinking of someone else). Is it just me or is that not the greatest book ever written?

Talking of school reminded me a lot of my present situation. I'm in school (uni) at the moment and all I want to do is play and write music but I'm trapped because I don't think I even know the basics and I'm a much better writer.

I'm thinking I might just give both a stab. The only reason I want to stay at school is for the library though. Which make me feel like a nerd and a half.

I don't think your fans will get to upset if you don't answer their mail. You don't want to end up like George Harrison from that episode of the Simpsons, still answering fanmail from 1973 or whenever.

If you're bored you should check out my friends cartoons... http://www.katerowecartoons.blogspot.com/.

BLAH!

xtine said...

ohh! if you're really free and dying for a laugh you should check out jeff dunham's ventriloquist/puppetry act on youtube. it's really the best shiz. after you, of course.

Elise said...

i totally know how it is with the STUFF. I recently moved (or my parents did). and I had to clear out all my stuff. I have so much shit. I ended up throwing out 3/4s of the things that were in my room. I found stuff that I have kept from preschool. I made myself throw it all out. I think in the end it was a good thing?

Editorial said...

Apparently, after four years, the dust doesn't get any worse.

Neffer said...

My little brother is going through the agonising process of dissecting his own little play in the name of A-levels (last year of high school in UK) and has to talk about the influences of Artaud and Stanislavski in a great big fat essay. He made me laugh so much last night when he looked up and said:

"Stanislavski, he had it good, he was out of the second richest family in Russia and got his own theatre bought for him. Artaud, on the other hand, spent 8 years being bonkers, and then wandered around Ireland trying to give them their walking stick back. Do you think I should put that in?"

When I moved out of Uni Halls of Residence this year and into a house with some friends I made A Decision to not cover my room with crap... in my head it was a beautiful light space with lots of orange drapes... that lasted all about two seconds. It started out with one Drawer of Things (Things include: old USB mouse, letter paper, plastic christmas cake decoration, rechargable batteries which may/may not work etc.) and now has gradually taken over the entirety of my room, to the extent that my housemates now refer to it as "The Pit." Even when I tidy up, there is stil so much stuff that it is still messy. Bah. It's genetic, my entire family are the same way.

I'm sat in my family kitchen right now, and THINGS I can see include: empty wine bottle saved for posterity from some event (forgotten), ANOTHER mouse, painting found in junk yard, bendy clock that doesn't work... but the most thingiest Thing of all in the kitchen is the pile of paperwork beside the breadbin. It began as one or two things put there so they wouldn't be lost, but it is now the entirety of my family's filing system, which contains (amongst others):
bills (phone, insurance, electricity, oil, water),
applications to Universities (both my brother's (current) and mine (two years ago)),
print offs for supposedly "ticketless" airlines (which create more paper and waste than tickets),
addresses of people who have moved house,
letters from school (been good, bad, detention for being on internet during class),
letters from extracurricular activies (orchestra, swing band, snowboarding trips),
teenage rock band money-from-gigs book (split up two years ago),
bank statements and
various newspaper clippings containing friends and family.

Of course, really important things are kept in the plate cupboard.

---

P.S. Re: Tea. Orange, mango and cinnamon is my favourite at the moment, but am currently drinking blackcurrant and ginseng cause I left orange at Uni. MMmm, tea.

DitaDoll79 said...

I am currently in the depths of what I call 'The Cull' - the not-nearly-as-regular-as-it-should-be purge of all the STUFF I have been hauling about with me for years and which I cannot quite bring myself to cut loose. Boxes that have been filled, taped shut, opened, fiddled around with and taped shut yet again, when I realise that actually, yes I DO need all that stuff, even if I never look at it. Bulging bags of crap that have split and been put straight into other bags to preserve the precious booty inside. A mountain of VHS tapes with loads of old movies, music videos, tv specials on serial killers, interviews with Gary Oldman and John Malkovich (I have a lot of these) and countless clips and bits and bobs that I have long told myself I am saving to convert onto disc. It is crazy how THINGS put hooks in you.

Highly recommended tea - Pau d'Arco. I drink cup after cup when I am trying to think. It tastes like a healthfood shop and makes me feel cleansed, even though I am murky. Also, Dragonfly Tea do the most amazing organic morroccan mint green tea. Get it on the net if it isn't a US thing. It tastes like the mint was freshly picked and brewed in front of you.

Loved this btw:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzkmppqHnqg

Can't wait to see Saul in May.

Here's to the hoarders!

Em x

Hubris said...

FLING! When sampling new artists, I too give them a very short test before declaring them 'bunk'. Though I'm usually sampling by way of mp3s and I can't get away with flinging them... unless I'm comfortable with sacrificing my macbook pro for the sake of impusive, opinionated emotion. :)

I assumed you received a lot of these demos while you're on tour. I had no idea it was quite that much! I gave you a disc at your Toronto show while you passed us chocolates out in the cold at the beginning of the year. I wouldn't be upset if it got flung considering how much you accumulate. Just seeking the opinion of two artists that I like. It was incomplete at the time and only now are we headed into the studio for a more professional sound.

You, Miss Palmer, remove a lot of 'star barriers'. Your fans love it because it makes you approachable on a more even level. Its why I gave the disc to you & Brian. So thanks for accpeting it :)

Hubris Humility
&
INTEGER

Ridiculous said...

I don't even know if I'm allowed to comment cause that would just be way too fucking weird, as I'm the "random Boston University student." But I have to admit, I've been reading the blog for a while now, mainly cause it's refreshing to read such a wacky account of a spectacularly ridiculous life.

On that note, I have oh so many THINGS. They just appear, from nowhere. Many of these THINGS, I've accumulated over the years, and are actually in my room at home, neatly hidden away in The Deathtrap that is my Closet and Under My Bed. I attempted a Flinging sort of deal while packing for home over spring break, but what resulted was my leaving my open suitcase on the floor and random things being ejected from various drawers and boxes until the suitcase was just Way Too Full.

But I feel that since I have put such a concerted effort into this ridding myself of THINGS plan, it is time to begin the acquisition of New THINGS, all of which I will most certainly deem Important and Useful at this point in time... never mind 10 years from now. I would love to partake of your THINGS in the box that you are sending Away in the mail. Or you know, whatever. Hopefully that shit works out.

Yeah... see you in a month. By the way, this is basically my dream come true.

stella... said...

your comment about where the fuck recycling actually goes made me think of an article in national geographic i read recently about "high-tech trash." very horrifying stuff - basically most of the electronics that people make the effort to "recycle" actually just get sent off to developing countries where they are burned down for the metals letting loose lots of lead and other toxins. definitely check it out: http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2008/01/high-tech-trash/carroll-text/1

Shayna said...

Ah!! Finger picking. It is a habit of mine as well, a solution I have to use sometimes is using white medical tape and wrapping it around the tips of my fingers.
(I'm in the middle of finals in college right now... yeah, my hands look a bit mummy like as I type.) People keep asking me what the hell I'm doing that for.
I know what you're talking about with the unfortunate tendency to collect stuff. I don't have a room anymore, I have a pile of books with a bed hidden somewhere in there. :)
My inner minimalist bohemian hates me for it. But the bibliophile just throws something to distract her and then runs away cackling.
Uggs are indeed ridiculous, and it made me happy to hear that new york agreed with my thoughts on baggy pants. That they make you the exact OPPOSITE of badass. Because it's true. The police love them to death though. So easy to chase down..

I'm glad that you are making the best of this muted stage of your life! I have a huge bias as I want you to be able to sing as long as you could possibly want to. <3 That and it does leave lots of nice room for reflection on things that may have otherwise been missed.
Although I'm sad that because of the NODES-ZORZ you weren't able to tour the Northwest (PORTLAND, OREGON in particular.) I'm sure that Powell's book store misses you Amanda!!

Can't wait for you solo album, Evelyn Evelyn and whatever else may come down the tube from your general end of the artistic spectrum.

<3 Good luck with the waging of war against the junk!
(Have you gotten around to reading yet? That doesn't involve talking... You would probably like Kathy Acker or Debra Diblasi.)

June Miller said...

'i am not supposed to be drinking. but my throat feels healed. alcohol is also an astringent and general antibiotic.'

You rebel rouser. What sort of example are you setting for the children? :)

...

Spies Like Us fucking rules, if only for introduction to the word 'dickfore.'

'What's a dickfore?'
Say it out loud, guys! And then do it at your high school and get other kids in on the gag.

...

A while back on here, I said that I tend to not read the other comments, because I've likened them to personal letters sent for you to read. Respect of privacy, and all that. I do skim through them now, though. It is an interesting little community, after all. And evidently someone else is familiar with Stuff White People Like. FUCK YEAH! That should be the online bible for white college students.

...

When I was a youngster and we first got the interwebs (28k dial-up, aka The Dark Ages), I mainly used email to try and keep in touch with my older brother. I was excited about this new, relatively easier way for me to keep in touch with someone close. Somewhere down the line, I fucked up one minute detail of the email address and a few of my letters got sent to this 30something dude down in Australia, who responded and politely informed me of my mistake. I just thought it was really cool that I was talking with someone A. Adult and B. Australian, and we kept writing each other back and forth for like..a year? Maybe more. We talked about music a lot, I remember. And my pet rats. And Legos. Anyway. Ever since then, I'd always thought of email and the internet as our version of pen-pals and letter exchanging. Of course there's creepy fucks out there (obviously Australian Dude wasn't some pedo, or else we wouldn't have kept chatting it up) but I think if you're clever enough you'll know who to avoid and who's okay. I guess what I'm saying is a really really like the internet.

'cept when it's fuckin' up. Then I hate everything.

...

FLING makes me think of Shaun of the Dead. I need to stock up on the local FROCK CDs for the zombie apocalypse, I guess.

...

I feel inspired to start a thrash band called The Deaf Vaginas.

...

Seriously, though. I clean my room like, once a year, and the shit that generates within that time...god. WHERE DID IT COME FROM?

The Mighty Doll said...

I know Hubris - I wouldn't put it past him to FLING his laptop in a (possibly drunken) moment of impulsive, opinionated emotion...

As for stuff, we just moved recently, after a year at our old apartment, and I could not BELIEVE how much crap we'd accumulated in that one short year. We disposed of MANY huge bags of junk, even after having purged before the previous move.

I'm not the nostalgic sort (though I may never part with my signed LP style poster from F*ck the Back Row at the Bloor Cinema in Toronto), but I'm forever keeping things that "may come in useful some day"

I also hold it as high law that you can never have too many pairs of scizzors or bottle openers.

Somehow, I seem to have acquired a huge number of heavy duty wire cutters and adjustable wrenches...I think they reproduce in the tool cupboard, but I can't bring myself to dispose of "perfectly good tools" (Hubris may argue as to the perfect goodness of some of these tools - he's allowed.)

Finally, if you need another internet time waster: check out the new site/community at http://www.bitstrips.com. It allows you to create your own web comics without all that pesky re-drawing and includes comment features and friend lists...It has some really neat potential for micro blogging.

Roronator said...

@june miller:

When I was 14 and out on my own on the interwebz unsupervised for the first time, I left a comment on some digital art webpage. Ah, this was in the days before spam email, and I left my email address there for all to see.

Anyway, some random Portuguese woman started emailing me, and we emailed back and forth about random shite. I pretended to be a 25-year-old business man, but everything else I said was completely honest, and I figure it was the same for her. After all, why lie to a stranger you'll never meet?

It was very strange and cool to be talking to an Adult in Another Country.

The natural progression was message boards, and I've been on and off since. I just can't help myself. Communicating via the written word suits me better than speaking, especially when it's to people I don't know very well. Like some kind of AA meeting. Unfettered honesty.

bug said...

Clothes are funny...we all make our snap judgments, don't we? I personally think that Hot Topic is still a STORE IN A MALL, in all it's hellish glory, and they also steal t-shirt designs from artists on the web, like at threadless. I'm seventeen. I feel that most of the goth trappings and riot grrl anger-wear are socially irrelevant, but that wasn't my generation, you know? But at the same time, you get people still reacting to "goth" clothes, like what just happened last August in Britain: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
pages/live/articles/news/news.html?
in_article_id=532196&in_page_id=
1770
I personally vacillate between overalls and boots (because I work in a welding shop) and long skirts (because they're pretty) and I never wear makeup and despise fashion trends of all kinds.
On art school, one of my favorite sculptors, Cat Grey, has this wonderful quote:"art school doesn't like you to decorate horses, sew skin over things and frame dead cats. It wants you to hot-glue barbie heads to a chair and paint them gold and say it is having a dialogue about AIDS with the toaster that is hidden in a box around the corner."
I am actually, right this very moment, torn between my fear of becoming a repressed, pretentious, Art-School Art-Fag and my superior faith in being able to get the most out of that kind of experience.

Samuel Barker said...

I can totally relate to your situation. We tend to gather things in my household much the same. Clothes adorn the entirety of the house. I have a small selection of clothing I wear, but for some reason we all hang onto everything.

Ever so often, the insanity subsides and we purge. I think it's when we realize we haven't see the bedroom floor in quite a while.

That leads to the evening run to Home Depot to get Lawn & Refuse Bags. (the giant paper bags) We sorts and fill them, some with sharpie-written notes like "trash" "charity" "Penny's kid", etc. Then it looks alright. But before long new CDs come in, new trips to the thrift shops and clearance racks happen and it's back to it's current state.

Sure, I have an attic, but if I decide I need something it'd be so cumbersome to have to climb up there...we'll just fill all our cabinets. It's fun that way.

Damien said...

Chorus: Hi, Amanda!

The idea of being addicted to communication is one that is... scary in it's implications. But you have a recourse, in this situation. In fact, your Frock Fling mentality holds the key.

You know, from type and frequency of comments, those people who are of the type and kind with whom you'd want to communicate most, right? And even if that's everyone, there's got to be differences in frequency and interest.

You're in a position to grab contact information, from these people, follow the threads, and combine them in groups of your devising. Or, more fun, at random.

Temporary chat rooms, with invitations sent at 11.30 pm, there and then gone, and the name changes, and you've got the key to the door. And it rotates.

Sure, not everyone can always be there, not everyone will fit, because imagine if everyone at your concert tried to have the same conversation, right? Madness. And not even generative madness, just noise and mess which would eventually break into pockets and cliques (interesting to watch, sometimes, but not when you want to actually Connect and Communicate).

So you invite group chats and e-mail back when you can, and blog, and maybe video/voice chat, after a couple of months. And on, and on, and on.

Because, until we can tap into each others' brains, we have to cobble it together, DIY.

Cheers.

inklesswriter said...

We're all pack rats in our own little ways, I have thing thing about saving old papers, school reports, awards, ribbons, and trophies among other things. Within the last year or so when I moved to Maine with my hubby, I lost a lot of stuff. I write poetry too, so I have lots of scraps of paper with lines, ideas, etc. that will perhaps make it round to writing themselves into a poem or two...

It's great to not talk for a while, makes you more attuned to other ways of expression. Oh, how lovely the innumerable echo of what is unspoken can be...

tara

Troi said...

THINGS.
I know what you speak of.
Maybe, one day, there will be some use to this.
No. No there won't.
The goodwill has become my bets friend.
To give the THINGS you don't love anymore (or never have loved) to have another chance to be loved again.
Of course, every time I go to drop off some unloved crap, I end up buying more "one day"s.
I love things that nobody loves anymore.

Elektra said...

I love reading your blog. It's kind of like coming home after a pure shit day and sitting down with my favorite abstract novel, diving headfirst into the brevity that I sometimes struggle to articulate but nonetheless feel deeply just the same. I know what you mean about the "STUFF" completely. Although on a more metaphorical level, I feel like I've been accumulating mental baggage forever and if only I could take some windex, maybe a broom or something, and just get rid of all that crap floating around inside my head...

If only they made brain vacuums.

jenna said...

afp-
i've just come down with pneumonia and it hurts to breathe, let alone talk. and sitting here on my couch, listening to the rain, and reading your blog (all while trying not to cough up a lung) has been thrilling. i've decided to join you as a mute, at least until i can breathe naturally again. it seems so much more calming to be silent, at least the way you make it seem. good luck with your post-surgery healing.

jenna said...

p.s. i thought you might appreciate this picture.
http://www.ljplus.ru/img4/0/4/04_/chewm.jpg

June Miller said...

Mr. Roronator:

I definitely see what you mean. I've had to work on speaking as effectively as I can through written word, over the years. It's not easy. I usually lurk on message boards. Kids can get pretty wild on those things.

Did you give a backstory to what your business was, to this Portuguese woman, or did you keep it pretty vague? Like, 'Oh, I'm in networking' and leave it at that. Either way, bad-ass.

Peps said...

ahahaha. To the picture at the end, I can only say, You win. completely.

You know, I went to the most wonderful place yesterday. A beach of sorts. I was with my ex, which made me angry, and it was near the place I'd grown up, which made me cry, but still, it was. It was magical, in a completely earthy way. In the kind of way that makes you feel connected to the ground beneath your feet and the sky.

I could go on about it. Suffice to say, it was incredibly healing, completely good.

I don't know why I told you that, except you seem like the kind of person who'd get it, too.

steph g said...

See... I know there's definitely an unfortunate circumstance to your recent mute-dom, but it's been pretty great for those of us who really enjoy reading your blog. :)

Nicole said...

"i remember the whole year of 1989 when i would only buy black items of clothing. ocassionally polkadots and paisley and floral (somewhat random, doens't it seem? nay. i was following my idol, robert smith). i also got in the habit of rocking hospital gowns over long-johns and boxers (yes, with requisite doc martens. blue ones). i thought i was The Shit. i had all of these leftover clothes that were black.... but brand-name. so i went to town, ripping off all logos and brand-names with a vicious fervor, using scissors, bleach and sharpie."

I cracked up in recognition when I read that. I think if we had been in high school together we would have been black-clad, Smith-obsessed brethren. (Either that, or we would have hated each other.)

Anti-fashion as a fashion statement. Heh. "Back in the day," I took perverse pleasure in mixing patterns that didn't match (plaid and floral? Why the hell not?), wearing t-shirts and buttons with vaguely combative slogans (Save Humanity from Itself!), layering on an excessive amount of bizarre accessories, and burying it all beneath the ugliest black and red plaid, threadbare flannel shirt mankind ever birthed. I had 3 pairs of shoes I wore with regularity: a beat-to-hell, and Sharpie embellished pair of Chucks, my Docs that had suffered endlessly at the business end of my paintbrush, and a pair of black wooden clogs. Yes. Black wooden clogs. Like Heidi gone horribly awry. All worn with that thumb-biting zeal that comes of the massive insecurity of never quite "fitting in." Anti-fashion as a fashion statement all the way, baby!

Amen to the sanctuary in self that comes with age. These days, I can wear a dress or a low-cut top without feeling like another fashion sell-out buying into a stereotypical ideal of femininity. It's nice. I may not be "young" anymore, I may have wrinkles and ass fat, but thank god I'm calmer, hopefully wiser and self-aware enough to know that those paisley leggings made my thighs look terrible. I am what I am now, and I know it is awesome. I don't give a rolling rimjob about the perception anyone else has of that awesomeness any longer.

Of course, none of this changed the fact that I giggled (GIGGLED!) like a pre-teen with a crush when you told me my mohawk was "cool" at the meet-n-greet after the Tampa, FL show. d-:

Faith said...

Good advise on the finger picking. I exfoliate my hands every day so I have nothing to pick at. And I keep my fingernails wicked short. Knitting helps too, since it makes my fingers too tired to pick or be picked.

judyjudyjudy said...

purging is the scariest and most fullfiling.

I did some closet, CD, paper, kitchen, shoes, pantry, appliance etc purging in a spring cleaning effort - but needed support - my bf helped me with the general purge (honey do you really need to keep that stupid piece of crap?) and then as you would say "Fling" and then my mother for the clothers ("You aren't going to wear that again. Did you ever wear that?!)

I also have a picking problem... but it is more my face - sometimes other parts of my body.... I read that this is a real disorder that has to do with a cleaning/perfection compulsion. Luckily I don't do it too badly (some people unintentionally mutilate themselves), but from time to time I realize that I am doing it and it must be gross to watch.

Anyway - hope you get better soon!

Amanda said...

I can't clean my room either, and I'm ALWAYS home but I don't even know where to begin. I try sometimes, but then I just give up and put all the garbage back exactly where it was so I don't know why I bother.

I think if I ever had any type of fans, I would try to reply to everything too, but I can also see how it would get pretty ridiculous. And I give my email to everyone I meet on line at concerts. I get attached pretty easily, I understand the plane thing. (I'm deathly afraid of planes though, so I haven't been on one.)

I never buy clothes I won't wear, but then my style is very plain and I don't take fashion risks, even though I definitely don't follow trends. But, my sister is obsessed with clothes, and she never has any trouble throwing away clothes she's never worn, so I'd say you're better than most Americans if you feel sentimental attachment to clothes you've never worn.

You should come back to New Jersey soon or at least New York City. For real, we're dying here, so will we have something to look forward to?

KK said...

i have two questions for you..

1)do you like "the sound of music"? i only ask this because i noticed that on one of the pages of the companion, the background is the original cover of the movie. and because it's one of my favorites.

2)are you supporting any of the candidates in the presidential election? i came to your show in boston in december, and you said something about voting for hope in the next election. at first i assumed that you meant barack obama, but then i realized that all of the candidates are adopting the same slogans so you can never be too sure.

you're awesome and i love you,

Kelley Kip

faeriewings said...

Welcome to my life. I accumulate so many things and I live at home. With a family... who is not quite so fond of my many things.

I would love some Frock. Details on envelope mailing please! & when I go to college in Boston or Worcester or wherever, you are teaching me to read bass clef. No piano teaching needed. Bass clef=the unlearnable. I have lived 8-ish years in a hole as a flutist. Time to expand my horizons.

PS. I am going to buy and wear a Dresden Dolls shirt to Boston next week. It would be a disgrace if I didn't. It is also a disgrace that I have loved you for around 4 years now and still don't own a shirt. This is soon to be fixed.

Alameda Green said...

Oh, the "as if" sets me adrift on a memory hell of middle school. Also, "Girl Power". I believe I may still own that flowery, pink, defeating-of-the-purpose rag.
Since you were mentioning how you choose supporting acts (Great question, whoever, I'd been wondering the same), I'd like to know how you came across Two Ton Boa. I finally got Parasiticide today, and I got the TTB EP THE NIGHT AFTER I saw them with you guys in Tampa, FL. Amazing, just unreal. You've successfully bred a TTB fan out of two people who'd never heard of them.
Also, linking this opening-band thing to what I was just saying, my father claims Robert Smith hit on him when his band opened for the Cure (the whole one time that that happened). For a guy who's a professed homophobe, he seems a little to happy to launch into the Robert-Smith-pinched-my-cheeks-and-called-me-cute-and-chased-me-around story.
Toodle-o, and glad the vocal vag is hangin' in there.
Brianne.

Anika said...

Amanda,
It is great to see you sorting out and coming to terms with all the THINGS and the SHIT. I try to do this regularly to, though I would imagine I wouldn’t have nearly as much as you do, although I am a great collector. I was telling a friend of mine about my cleaning and accumulating cycles. And how when I go and clean and sort and re-arrange it means I am going though some sort of big emotional upheaval. I never know what it is, the cause, but if I feel myself wanting to delve into the shit then I know its coming. Sometimes I find myself watching myself like a third person, looking for the external signs, and this is a big one.
It’s a great paradox because when I begin I might be in a normal semi-calm state of mind and think that this might be a good positive afternoon’s work, but as soon as I begin I start to get messed up and overwhelmed. Sometimes I am foolish enough to start when I feel really good and SORTED (which just results in me opening up an old letter from a dear past friend and realising how NOT SORTED I really am), or starting in an already chaotic state and it just ending up worse.
It’s all the Stuff, the Memories, the letters, the souvenirs, the emotions, the smells, sights sounds and experiences…! And even the stuff that doesn’t mean that much anymore, before I throw it out there is always that pang of remorse whare I remember how important that was to me once upon a time (which is usually stuff kept from high school) and I imagine what I would have thought about throwing it out back then, how it would have been unbearable, how immense (or how immense I thought) the emotions were. And now… it almost saddens me not to feel that anymore, at all, and for that piece of Thing.
Then there are the things that really do trigger that feeling. Where in the midst of all the mess you sink onto the Pile Of Letters Still To Be Read crushing them against the bed and sigh as you immerse yourself in the new piece of Thing. And your mind just goes, wow, how could I have forgotten this? Whatever happens, it was a very good move to keep this. Can’t throw THIS out, very important, should have, doesn’t make me feel nice things, but I must hang onto this feeling.
Maybe we’re not letter and Stuff whores, but emotion and memory whores?
Reminiscing about this shit I have just unearthed from the mountain (mine is actually one of those triple deep desk drawers and a collection of big cardboard boxes under the bed) I hold it and I know that it’s genuine and Real and it makes me feel it all over again, and in this fake superficial shallow commercial ugg-boot ridden world, one needs that occasionally.

So happy sorting Amanda, I hope you find many rich and exciting memories new and old, for I always come out the other side feeling much much better and at one with The Shit, Stuff and Things than I was before… and the SPACE! It is the best kind of mental and physical space for the undertaking of anything.

And with that I bid you adieu, and wish for you the same peace.

Much love, Anika.

thedude said...

whaddya say babe, you and me; next saturday nite. dali, my treat.

tanbob said...

Your voice may be gone, but your words do damn fine work Amanda.
Even if you stick with the blogging, the shoe and the tambourine, keep the wisdom coming.
And in celebration of that wisdom, here is a video I made dedicated to your "love the belly" message. I am constantly shocked at how many greatful comments and messages i get for this film. they are yours as much as they are mine.
Enjoy the freedom you create in this belly hating world.
xxx
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WH61TNZ1a4A

Emily Thomas said...

I can see (not literally, but imagine) you writing this for a few minutes, getting up and cleaning (or rather, FLINGING) and then sitting back down to continue writing this, having the comments open in another window so that you can see them. All things considered, it seems like your somewhat unoccupied hands are having trouble sitting still.

However, my only music recommendation is Emilie Autumn. Hot, sexy, violindustrial frock, to use your term.

I like the insight this blog gives us, even if that insight feels a little like reading Faulkner. Who rocks, by the way. I think you could take this and publish it as a short story, if you continued writing the way you were on it.

I hope, for our (and my selfish, selfish) sakes that your voice recovers well.

~ Emily

shimmerglitter said...

Hello. I just got a Google account (not totally sure what a Google account is actually for) so I could comment. I am not completely sure why. This is a Problem for me. As well as sharing your habit of Not Throwing Stuff Away, I am now collecting internet accounts. I don't NEED these things. WHY?

Also, on the subject of the Uggs: WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THAT THEY WEAR THESE THINGS? Today at school we had a 'dress down' day for the end of term, and I lost count of the number of girls I saw wearing them. Trowelled-on orange make-up seems to be a frequent accompaniment, too...

Congratulations on maintaining your muteness.

Janis said...

Hope the voice is healing. I'm a vocal coach and a performer, so I can't imagine not being able to use my voice.

A jazz combo I'm in covered "My Alcoholic Friends" at a church/school fundraiser a few weeks back. Amazingly, we still got paid after shocking the blue hairs.

You and Brian are my muse(s).

DRA said...

THEY ARE MAKING A MAMMA MIA! MOVIE! I mean, I knew they were doing it, but FUCK! And it is here soon!
Such a guilty pleasure. But fuck it. Meryl Streep is Jesus & Santa all rolled into one.
C'mon Amanda. Admit it. Secretly, deep down inside, you are jumping for joy.
This is related to what you were saying because....Madonna used some of Abba's music. And I really hate myself for liking Abba. But what the hell. Live the stereotype.
It will be the most fagaliciously stereotypical thing I did since watching one of those spin-offs of Querr Eye last night. Why do all these shows have one (1) minority?
Or an Asian. But in B.C. they are not, technically, where I live, a minority.

P.S. - An easy way to not give a shit about clutter? Get a spice rack. Seriously. I can spend hours rearranging by letter, size, and whether or not it contains capsicum, all the while ignoring the growing piles og laundry and old textbooks.

Hey, is the time on your time-thingy Boston or wherever? Cause it sure as hell isn't close to the where I am.
I bet it is.
I also bet Pierce Brosnan is somehow related to Charlie Sheen. You compare.

P.P.S. - You leave Madge's Vag alone!

rubeeraspberry said...

I am a collector of shit as well. I can say that after 27 years of packratting and hoarding, I have finally started learning to let go. It's nice to be able to find a shirt or a pair of pants that a few weeks ago I hadn't seen in over a year (or more for certain articles).

It's hard to keep up, but like most things that are good for you but difficult to do, I just make myself do it. I keep saying to myself "in the end, it will make me feel more sane..." and it does.

I haven't done any CD flinging yet, but that's next. I have thousands of CD's and I don't even buy CD's anymore (Arrrrrrr!) so there's no reason for me to have them lining my bookshelves and finding interesting lamp/rack combinations that accommodate my sprawling collection.

on a different note, i have to tell you that everything you do/promote/suggest is absolutely inspiring. i've been a big fan of the dolls for a while now, but I hadn't had alot of time to devote to actually seeing/hearing new things such as videos/blogs/etc... (I like /'s!) and I have to say it just makes me feel like maybe I can get to where I want to be someday. That if I believe in myself and try that anything I dream is possible.

Thank you for that. You have no idea how much it means to me.

-e.d. from Louisiana

Alex said...

Hey Amanda,

Not sure where you read you read and reply to these comments... so I'm posting on a whim.

Have you gotten a chance to watch the DVD of The Clockwork Waltz yet, seeing as you've had this free time. ;)

When you played The Living Room, some of my friends in the cast talked to you about it and they said you'd seen the clips on YouTube.

Here's hoping that you do get to see the whole thing, and that you enjoy it. We're hoping to revise it and perform it again, hopefully with a stop in Boston.

-Alex T, EP Theatre

Bdan said...

Dear Amanda-

The second stapler is always very necessary. Always.

That said, you are going to have to tell us where to send our self addressed stamped (I want to say packages but I'll keep it small) envelopes to!

hat said, I should probably finish reading before getting to distracted. I just wanted to say those things, before I forget, seeing as to how goddamn important they were.

Bdan said...

Your giving lessons!!!

I AM SO JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can I such things happen in my life!!! Tell me Amanda, tell me! Please! How!!!

Your my inspiration. I took your approach to the noisemaking. I want you as my teacher so bad.

I AM SO GREEN WITH ENVY, SO GREEN IT STINGS!

Ok, now ill finish reading!

Bdan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bdan said...

Just finished. Read my comments, and realized, that I completely forgot to mention what it was exactly was referring to. The lessons was what i was referring to.

Tat lucky lucky lucky BU student.

Lucky.

Sigh.

JiltedAlice said...

Clutter? How about the useless text books from years of college-going, that the college refuses to buy back because they no longer use that version...
My floor is flooded with literature.
Too many words to face down I'm afraid. Maybe a librarian will one day rescue me?

Corey said...

I have a question-- since you are a Bostonite (Bostonian?), would you happen to know if Boston has any really good comic book stores? I live in Providence, but the only places we seem to have around here are Newbury Comics' (and they're not at all like, say, Forbidden Planet, which I love). thank you very much.

Talking Mime said...

heyy

<33 that shirt.

Im going to have to try that fling thing next time i attack the mountain that is slowly growing in my bedroom... it sound rather satisfying, to throw something... anything actually.

I do congradulate you, to be able to attack your mountain and get rid of some 'sentimental' shit.

<3

[go obama]

the_skyisfalling said...

amanda palmer, I love you. I have never met you, I have never had the godly pleasure of hearing you perform, and you have never commented on my blog/box posts, but I absolutely fucking adore you.
I think if we knew each other, we'd get along instantly. Or drive each other fucking nuts.

I just hope you know - and, more importantly, UNDERSTAND - that you feel closer to me than anybody in my life. Keep rocking the free fucking world.

Eva said...

Two nights ago I dreamt that you had died.
It was just before the third Dresden Dolls album was going to be published. It came out anyway and Brian named it "0" (zero).
Moreover an autobiography of you came out. You had only written 20 pages, but the book contained many photos of you as well.
A lot of your personal stuff was auctioned, but it only made very little money.
The atmosphere of this dream was so sad and melancholic!
I don't even know you personally, but it was one of the most realistic and sadest dreams I've ever had! Weird....
The actual point is:
I am very glad you are alive!

(and just to mention: Things that I've dreamed, have never actually happened!)

Ana said...

The BU student you said that you'd give lessons to is my best friend.
You made her the happiest I have seen her in a long time.
I have that problem with clothes, too. I'm 18 and I still have clothes that I bought in middle school. But, even as I slowly but surely throw them away, it gets harder and harder to chuck them even though they hold no special significance. Maybe, its like having a little piece of the past.

Hunger For The Great Light said...

I think I read somewhere that you graduated from college. What was your degree in? Or did you, in fact, drop out?
I ask because I've found myself at a crossroads.
On the one hand I've just gotten a wonderful Job that I love very much at the CoffeeJointDownTheStreet as a barista/sound engineer(they have live music). I'm also the front runner for an engineering job at the only worth-while music store in town. I love my new part-time job. I'm strongly suspect that I would love the full time job at the store.
On the other hand: School. I'm an Arts Administration major with an emphasis in Theater. I hate school. No, hate is not a strong enough word. Loath, despise, abhor, feel a great amount of rancor. My bete noir. The only class I can stand is my Acting workshop, and that's only because the professor is amazing. I really like theater, but music is my Passion.
And now I have an opportunity to begin building a career in the Industry.
Is my enmity toward school simply because I live in the sphincter of the country? Kentucky really is a vacuum of art and culture. But would I be happier at a different school? I really doubt it.
I know a college education isn't all society cracks it up to be, but damn. Should I be so quick to drop the fuck out?
Perhaps the insights of some of these beautiful strangers, who have no idea about who I am, might help. Any insight would be vastly appreciated.

I also feel inclined to comment on this intense footwear discussion. Everyone seems to have this massive animosity toward BOOTS. Really? Shoes inspire this much hatred and aggressiveness. Have these boots personally wronged people. Why does everyone care so much if other people want to look like fools with weird shoes and cold, deaf vaginas? Just curious.

karen said...

Your house is messy, but what about your desktop? Screenshot, please.

Roronator said...

@june miller:
"Did you give a backstory to what your business was, to this Portuguese woman, or did you keep it pretty vague? Like, 'Oh, I'm in networking' and leave it at that. Either way, bad-ass."

I kept it pretty vague so as not to trip myself up. Just references to "being away on business" and such. It was very, very strange, and to this day, I'm not entirely sure why I did it. At least now I know that I have no interest in roleplaying, I guess..

Corvus said...

Flinging is a good term. I've been trying to get rid of all the strange amounts of stuff I've accumulated for a while ago, and it's wonderfully freeing.Every time I hit up against something difficult to get rid of, I just throw it in the bag of get-rid-of-ness anyway and tell myself that's one more thing I won't have to pack up next time I move, and I feel better.

This may indicate I move a little too often. Or just that I really hate moving.

My problem is paperwork. Old letters from friends? Sentimental! Notes from classes I have long since passed, a la the grease-stained formaldehyde-reeking lab manual for the Human Gross Anatomy cadaver lab? What if I actually need to remember that shit some day?

DitaDoll79 said...

Devikat - re: Literary Seductions

This was written by one of my tutors at university, Frances Wilson! Fantastic book, fantastic woman, great teacher.

Nanna said...

'i have found that the only way i can get rid of my Shit is to give it to other people, thus making me think that my potentially-valuable-Shit might have second life with someone who love this Shit as much as i did.'

A year ago I found out, that getting a divorce is the most excellent way to get rid of a lot of THINGS (including your ex ^-^), especially if you really, really wanna get rid of all the stuff that belongs to your ex.
What you shouldn't do afterwards, though, is to fall in love and move together with a person with a collection of THINGS twice as big as your own, and who's sewing and creating as much as yourself. Before I had a ton of books, two sewing machines, a dummy, one cupboard with clothing and a cupboard full of fabrics - now I live in an apartment with four sewing machines, three dummies, three cupboards with materials and four tons of books and a neverending amount of clothing items. Whoops.......

Anyway, some months ago I decided to part with a huge pile of all the stuff I've been sewing through the last years (I make my own fetish-goth-steampunk-freaky-wear), and it hurt to sort the victims from the lucky ones who would stay with me, but it had to be done. A girl I know picked up the pile from me, took what she wanted, gave it to another etc etc, the pile ended up being shared among four people, who were all very happy with the THINGS. And it didn't even hurt when she had left with the pile - I felt pretty relieved =)
But the thought of parting with these wonderful THINGS was terrrible.

I admit it - I have Too Many THINGS.
*stands up*
'Hi! My name is Nanna, and I collect THINGS'
*sits down again*


Love from Denmark ^-^
- Nanna

Emma said...

Stuff, stuff, stuff. I, too, have waaaay too much of it. And here I was thinking that I'd culled some of it down moving around the world and having to pack and re-pack it all. Nope. For fuck's sake, I moved a couple of weekends ago, and chucked out a whole lot of stuff, and I still have stupid amounts. Bah.

Oh, I meant to post something totally nerdy about microphones a few posts ago, but never got around to it. Can I just say that as a radio nerd, I totally get your lust for sexy, sexy microphones. There is nothing like hearing yourself being recorded with a disgustingly expensive, sexy mic. Oh, and on that note, whatever equipment you were using at the Spiegeltent in Melbourne was perfect. You were crystal clear.

On the subject of internet friends, well, they totally fucking rule. I have a massive group of friends online that I met on an author forum, and we've all literally flown around the world to have big parties in Paris and New York. (We even made it to Boston one weekend!) They're fucking magnificent, and I adore 'em all.

One last tiny thing. (Here I go again, spamming your comments...) Are you into Plath by any chance? I don't know why, but some of your music really reminds me of some of her poetry. Particularly some of the more popular stuff, like Lady Lazarus or Black Rook in Rainy Weather. If I'm totally wrong and you're not into her, seriously, check it out. Black Rook, especially. I'm sure you'll adore it.

Peace out, Amanda, you fucking rule.

Emma

Dark Cruising Bar said...

Dear Amanda... I am having terrible trouble sleeping, but I really don't care because the reason is your music, your voice and all these amazing things you write. I'd love to be able to meet you and get to know you...

First off I hope you are doing well with the post-op, the cleaning, the flinging (godda love flinging, it kinda makes you happy and sad and tearfull but tikled all at once) and everything else that you have going on in your life at the moment.

I've never had the "fan impulse" before, but as soon as I discovered you I ordered all the CDs, the book, the DVDs... everything I could get my hands on... the TOTAL FAN THING.

My biggest problem at the moment is that I am in SPAIN, lovely place, and thats not the problem... the problem is that it is a very LOOOONG way from where you guys are and I have absolutely no way of getting over to the States to see you live and come over and tell you how amazing I think you are. WHEN ARE YOU COMMING BACK TO EUROPE!?!?!?! It doesn't even have to be Spain... anywhere in the EU would be fine... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come and visit us.

We have UGH(merica...) boots here too, girlie-girls wearing huge soft pink hoopy earings, tightly pulled back hair and fluffy pink coloured over-stuffed bomber jackets and un becommingly tight jeans. Not a pretty sight.

well... LOVE and KISSES from Mallorca.

JayBiz said...

AS If. Bitch Pleazes. That just about made my life.
Thank you

Mia said...

Amanda, I am curious to know, what courses did you take in college?

kimmiplease said...

Leeds :DD

Obviously not so godforsaken
and obviously the best place in England

and since it provided you with such an amazing instrument
you are blatently fighting the urges to return
so i can see you
and feel that my life is complete

please and thankyou??

:))

dysphoriceuphoric said...

im love you can express yourself so openly its quite lovely!!
Not only have i recently discovered the dresden dolls but apparently you too!
you have inspired me to blog too.
i have so much inside maybe i can g
et into it.

but enough this is pretty much me trying to convey telling you your music makes me cry alot in that beautiful painful i relate so strongly kind of way.
that is all and your so gorgeous<3

i sound like such a woman.
gender defying thoughts look at that and one more "<3"

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