Wednesday, March 05, 2008

day #1 as a mute

so, the voice surgery was brilliant.

i'm already bored of being a mute.

but i like it, kinda.

brian the sweetheart picked me up at my house at 5:25 am and i got to the hospital by 6 am.

i spent an interesting time in the pre-operative room, curtained off and listening to all the hospital sounds.

man, hospitals are fucking surreal. every time i'm in one i imagine what it's like to work there day in and out.

no sun, on your feet all day and with sick and crazed and dying folks around you. crazed.

by 8 am i was seeing my surgeon in the OR getting shot up with general anesthesia and the surgery lasted over 2 hours, way longer than expected since he found all sorts of juicy new scar tissue to shave away. waking up was the worst part...i was back in the room of madness and a million pre- and post-op humans and the nurses running everywhere and i hadn't been given any pain medication. it felt like someone had roto-rootered my throat, i had to keep a steam mask over my face, and it hurt like hell just to breathe. then things got better, my mum came to pick me up, and they gave me a cup of liquid percocet. that was yummy.

i was out by noon. i left via wheelchair and came back to my folks house for convalescence.

i had some sort of bizarre vision in my head that i wouldn't be able to work or email for a few days but it's actually all i want to do right now since i have no other means of communication. and i'm treating this like a mini-vacation, so the internet actually becomes a fun tool (finally watching the cowbell video! i'd never seen it! wikapedia-ing jodie foster! all the things i am always too guilty to do because it will NOT HELP! i do also have a back-up pile of about 700+ emails. for real)

i have eaten two pints of dolce de leche ice cream.i have zoned out to several episodes of twin peaks (true brilliance).

my sister came over and the whole clan gathered at the family television for a screening of silence of the lambs. i think it's my 6th time.

damn, man. i think it might be the best film ever made. this time i watched the entire documentary as well. simply amazing. i would kill to work with people like that. so fucking smart.

and jodie foster. i mean, before we start getting started on madonna again. i'd just like to say the name jodie foster about 36 times. she is the other side. if you haven't seen her in hotel new hampshire, see it. then read it.

damn private life she's got. she and pj harvey should move in together.

i didn't know that my favorite image (hannibal's bloody artwork: the cop's corpse stretched across the cage and all lit up with stage lighting) was inspired by the paintings of francis bacon.

this being an internet holiday, i got to go on a little google image journey and find out more about him, i'd only heard the name. quite incredible

i loved this photo-of-art, something ominous about it. featuring a francis bacon triptych.


and i was reminded that i keep meaning to turn my favorite painting by max beckman ("the actors") into a stage design somehow...

i might need a bunch of very patient volunteers. or do it all cut-out sgt. peppers style:

my mind is starting to slowly turn to All Things Artwork...i can tell. i'm looking at everything greedily and visually.

things start to happen. This Painting Would Make a Great Album Cover. This Color Would Make a Great Album Cover.

My Cat Would Make a Great Album Cover. Your Mom Would Make a Great Album Cover. etc.

the mind wanders.

i am wandering around waving my hands when needed, getting more and more constant reminders that 94% of what we say is useless anyway,and finding that typing on large sticky notes on my laptop is 400% faster than handwriting.

i heard that blackberries for communication are big in the deaf/mute community.
..............................................

if you were living under a rock, by the way, brian plays drums on some tracks of the new NIN record.

go to the NIN site to download: nin.com

i'm so proud of him i can't tell you. he is a force of nature.

............................
from comments:
............................

lots of folks posted about a pull-out yoga section for the book. that could be so creative and yet is totally anathema to the coffee-table vibe i was going for.maybe i need yet another book project. thanks. fuck. better: live yoga classes from my mac in different club parking lots and theater broom closets across the world.
......................

....also, i think you should jsut start an advice column. you are so good at answering all those little questions that sound trivial but really are more important than you would think. "which headphones to trust", "what type of yoga is for you?", "the best kinds of chai", "there is a bitchin´ cafe near you!"
well at least you know if your nodule surgery goes nuts, you have an occupation to fall back on. not that im putting bad zen on the surgery. *good vibes good vibes, zen zen* thats better.

so my question: have you ever been to munich, and if so, do you know any great cafes?
i just arrived in munich, im staying for a year, and to know where the best cafes are would be a valuable piece of information indeed.

Posted by George. on Tuesday, March 04, 2008 at 12:45 PM


you know, i always fantasized about having an advice column in teen people. or jane. or a place where totally deluded young 12 year old suburban girls might actually benefit. then i realized these people would never hire me to write in their magazines. so i gave up my dream. but this is fine, isn't it. you should come to a solo show. i often pull out my "ask amanda" routine (i leave a box at the merch table) and it's usually ridiculously fun. people do ask the stupidest questions though. i would need someone around to edit all of the "where do u get the ideas 4 your songs" out.

re: munich: don't know any hott places but i lived an hour from there in regensburg. go there for a weekend or i'll kill you. get a drink at the banane and go to the goldene ente beer garden (i worked there) when it's nice out.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

bobbing_for_applesx said...
I ordered the companion book (what? two years ago?) and I remeber my mom finding it and ripping out all of the pictures(which was the primary reason WHY I bought it in the first place...)

She thought it was straight-up porn. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I think it's funny, though, she left the very last picture. the one that mimics yoko ono and john lennon.

was it a statement about what nude art really is? or did she just forget to tear it out?

4:39 PM


can i tell you how happy i am to hear that?

..........................................

malte said...
Good luck for surgery. I'd say your voice is still perfect for the things you do, so I demand at least a perfect queen of the night aria after the wounds healed ;)

Following this thought... What about a Mozart-/Haydn-/I-dont-know-all their-names- cover. Piano and drums should do a good job for some of those classical pieces, dont they?

5:13 PM


i have actually been thinking about that pretty hard. i am a classical hack, but i might be able to come up with something.
it would be great to play classical shiznit while even more interesting and parallel shiznit happens on or off stage.murder?

............................................................
to pick up the madonna thread
......................................................

proph said...You ranted beautifully on Madonna putting her vulva out there. I think the critical part of this process is not to allow our clothing, our faces, our packaging to define us. It's like a canvas we can paint a mood on, but what is inside should remain untouched by what we put on the exterior. Too much insecurity and self loathing come from body issues and beauty issues. We will be lucky to grow old and unattractive. Your sexuality is something so deeply internal, so connected to you inside and out, emotions, tactile sensations, mental bullshit. Sex and sexiness open up such a door to the inner person. To me it's as much an energy as an invasive "thing" I can get so hung up on. No matter which, the perceptions of others, they should not apply to us sexually. no part of this body or soul belongs to another, to know, or label, categorize or throw away. They may form their perceptions, but I'll not have them foisted on me. What should I be today? A slut? A frigid bitch, a tease? Maybe just be what I feel and make sure those labels peel off easily and don't take too much skin off with them.

1:12 PM


you took word out of mouth, friend from earth. so agreed.

.............................................

I hate Britney and Madonna. Yuck. They're just attention whores. Don't even talk about them. I don't think there's any mystery--they just know what'll make people talk about them, and that's explains the unexplainable. (Posted by The Little Natasha In Outer-space on Sunday, March 02, 2008 at 10:59 AM

i disagree. i think the phenomenon is a great mystery indeed. it keeps unraveling and unravelling into endless halls of mirrors about culture and humanity.....................
Haven't thought about the Madonna book in years. .... I was working at a record store (that still sold records) at the time it came out. One of my friends came in a purchased the book and opened it right away. We browsed through... other than the visceral response of "getting to see a famous person intimately" we were both unimpressed. (I *was* disturbed that some boy-holes had been airbrushed out. eep! And by her questionable taste in Ice. Ice-T would've been hawt.).... My friend, he just looked at me and said "Sister, this wouldn't even qualify as risque on a *Wednesday night Green Bay*! (Posted by Sepiachord on Sunday, March 02, 2008 at 11:00 AM)


this seems to be the general consensus as i was mentioning it, and as i left it on my table at the weekend house festivities. there are pictures, brian and i had a mini0brecht party for a german TV crew. will post.

.............

yorksdevil said...
I can't be alone in finding Bjork sexier than Madonna, surely.

11:50 AM


you are so not alone.
...............................

i feel like such an amateur feminist. some women at smith and stanford and wellesly spend their lives dissecting this shit.

or you could just ignore it, make choices, and live...period. ha.

someone sent in the camille paglia shit i was looking for. her book, sexual personae, btw, is awesome. read it for the insight. just to know.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C0CE1DC123AF937A25751C1A966958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=1
(Posted by Musings on Saturday, March 01, 2008 at 9:11 PM)


"Madonna is the true feminist. She exposes the puritanism and suffocating ideology of American feminism, which is stuck in an adolescent whining mode.Madonna has taught young women to be fully female and sexual while still exercising total control over their lives. She shows girls how to be attractive, sensual, energetic, ambitious, aggressive and funny -- all at the same time.

Contemporary American feminism, which began by rejecting Freud because of his alleged sexism, has shut itself off from his ideas of ambiguity, contradiction, conflict, ambivalence. Its simplistic psychology is illustrated by the new cliche of the date-rape furor:" 'No' always means 'no'. " Will we ever graduate from the Girl Scouts? "No" has always been, and always will be, part of the dangerous, alluring courtship ritual of sex and seduction, observable even in the animal kingdom.

Madonna has a far profounder vision of sex than do the feminists. She sees both the animality and the artifice. Changing her costume style and hair color virtually every month, Madonna embodies the eternal values of beauty and pleasure. Feminism says, "No more masks."Madonna says we are nothing but masks.

Through her enormous impact on young women around the world, Madonna is the future of feminism."

ok. i agree with the date-rape overkill. lets not go backwards. let's not forget that sex is fun, a game, a power struggle of lust. but...

hang on there. if madonna is the true future of feminism, i think we might be fucked. i don't think madonna SET out to have us calling this shit. madonna wanted to be a star, the world was ready, it all worked.

camille. c'mon. this is where all my itchiness about madge comes in. ALL I SEE IS THE MASK. i don't see the woman underneath. THATS what makes me care with other artists, to want to care, to feel like the mask has real humor, real gravity. who's putting on the mask in the morning? when do i get to see HER????

so, camille:

Feminism says, "No more masks." Madonna says we are nothing but masks. Amanda says You Choose, Ladies: mask today, naked tomorrow, lip-gloss today, overalls tomorrow. fuck 'em if they can't handle you either way.

love

AFP

36 comments:

Jack said...

I've thought a lot about masks. Sometimes the mask is the real thing and sometimes what lies beneath the mask is prefabricated identity. It's the problem of modernity. As Oscar Wilde noted, "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." See also Yukio Mishima's novel Confessions of a Mask.

Austin Dale said...

glad you're feeling okay. if you never sing again, i think i'll start listening to madonna full time. i hope you like the flowers.

austin

Mark said...

Congratulations on your successful surgery. I wish you a happy convalescence.

By the way, you're not planning on attending the PLUG awards in NYC tomorrow night are you? I had a weird dream a couple of weeks ago that I was there and you were in the audience and Annie Clark invited you up onstage. As you climbed onstage (hey, who wouldn't want to be onstage with St. Vincent and Nick Cave) I kept yelling "You just had your surgery, you're going to ruin your voice!".

rob chalfen said...

congrats on the excavation!

some masks on view at the joint: http://zeitgeist-outpost.org/

David said...

I lit the candle for you yesterday. I forgot about it and my wife blew it out before she came to bed. Glad to hear it went well. I don't know how hospital folk do it either. Good luck with your dumbness. What a brilliant exercise! Word Fasting. If anyone can do it you can AFP!

" ... the phenomenon is a great mystery indeed. it keeps unraveling and unravelling into endless halls of mirrors about culture and humanity..."

It doesn't seem mysterious to me, but glamorous and fascinating for sure, and as our ever expanding and instantaneous media focus on it harder and harder, all the juicy colors flow out. There are casualties. The energy of millions of fans is nothing to trifle with.

We take our masks terribly seriously sometimes. We forget that we're wearing them. To quote Darrell Van Horn, in The Witches of Eastwick, "Truth is best."

Anyhoo, hang in there Amanda.

I LOVE Jodie too!

Alex de Campi said...

Glad the surgery went well.

By the way, if you like Francis Bacon I just did a video which is pretty much a moving Francis Bacon painting (when it's not an Egon Schiele painting): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE9X_yfnkcM

lentower said...

not just both ways

but all ways

(that aren't evil)

-len

the deviant tart said...

hahaha that is so bizarre...i've been on a jodie foster kick lately too! she is amazing. silence is one of my favorite movies...you should read the book! it is fantastic!

glad the surgery went well! drink lots of tea...it is good for you!

xox
Nikki

Nicola said...

I was in a hospital tonight too, but it was in the ER so less weird hospital sounds and more gross human sounds.

I'm glad it went well !
Nic

horsetica said...

Amanda Love,
Get better.
You are most useful to the world with your voice in tact. You have such interesting things to say. I'm not much into feminism, but you have a point with Madonna. Interesting indeed...

Maya said...

Amanda Fucking Palmer? Amanda Fighting Palmer? Amanda Feminist Palmer? Amanda Feeling Palmer? Meh, some of them are kind of cheesy. Enjoy the break, your voice deserves it (and you do, too).

setphaserstostun said...

as a now so close to 15 suburban girl i would be delirious with wimsy if i could ask your advice and looky here an oppurtunity

i love to sing sing sing but i have mass quantities of stage fright

how do u deal?

signed: Sleepless in Seatle

LadyLazarus said...

I'm glad the surgury went alright. I hope you start to feel better soon.
As long as you're going on an internet raid, allow me to suggest a few things you might find interesting. I'd like to give you funny things to watch, but I'd hate for you to hurt your throat, so I won't say any of those. :)
First off, I know it's quite a few years old, but I just happened to watch the Salad Fingers flash cartoons. They're quite horrifying, yet so intruiging that I couldn't tear my eyes away and I had to watch all eight episodes.
http://www.fat-pie.com/salad.htm
Of course, since I watched it, I can't unsee the fact that he reminds me of L from the anime Death Note (that's also an amazing series. If you have time to watch a 37 episode show, watch this, you should be able to find the episodes on either you tube or myspace video, either in the original japanese with subtitles or the english dubbed version).
Secondly, I'd like to introduce you to two of my favorite artists, Jim Warren (a surrealist who is completely self taught) and Carl Lundgren (a local artist in my area with a talent uncompromised. Check out his piece Dirty Bath Mates. I have a copy of that because it's so funny).
http://www.jimwarren.com/site/
http://www.carllundgren.com/

Hmm... let's see what else I cang ive you to entertain you.... OH, how about some grow games?
http://www.eyezmaze.com/

And lastly, check out postsecret.com
I don't know if you've heard of that place before, but it's so heartfelt and wonderful. Their message board is fantastic, too. Everyone is so welcoming and wonderful.

Well, I hope that helps you get through the next two weeks. :) Feel better darling!

Thud MacThud said...

The Owls are not what they seem.

but my log saw something in your vocal vag shots, that night.

Jodie and Madonna and Björk were conspiring together in the Black Lodge -- there would be some new Brigaders when the Dolls played the Twin Peaks prom.

Diane had told the Dolls about the coffee, the cherry pie, the donuts stacked two high, the amazing Douglass Firs, the two-by-fours, the four-by-twos ... and they had to experience it for themselves -- and how better than by playing for Audrey, Laura, Bobby, Donna, James...

Glad to hear the surgery went well, and you seem to be recovering apace. Looking forward to bumping into you somewhere soon.

Ted

P.S. If you like Salad Fingers (or even if you don't), I find I must recommend Big Bunny and Making Fiends and anything else from Amy Winfrey.

Cynic said...

For the past week, I've been wishing that I could have an excuse to just stop talking for a while. Like, verbal communication from time to time becomes so meaningless. I can write far better than I can speak. So it only makes sense for me to pick writing over speaking. That, and I'm just tired of the never ending babbling that takes place. I wish that I could just go around, listening to music all day, and avoid speaking to anyone. To sum that all up, I'm jealous.

REALLY glad to hear that the surgery went well. Mmm... liquid percocet....

Amanda... seriously, how can you even put amateur and feminist in the same sentence? Feminism is simply a stance, a belief system. Just a general stance on how life should be lived. How is one individual's pursuit of their goals less viable than another's? I'm a sociology major focusing on gender, and I've done a study based on gender, but that doesn't mean that I can at all say that I'm doing more or less than any other feminist. Although... I gotta say, the two shirts I have that state "This is what a FEMINIST looks like" I feel do an amazing amount of good.

But like, the mere fact that you ARE bringing up the issues of feminism is profound. I can't count the number of times that I've run into people that completely misunderstand feminism, and don't even realize that there are different TYPES of feminism. I think the most shocked I've ever been was going on a date only to find that the guy didn't even know the word Feminism.

I personally see the Madonna style as.... screwing women over. I'm all for women taking over their sexuality. I'm all for showing off our bodies and being proud, because there is FAR too much shame of our own bodies. But I think that there should be limits. Putting ourselves out there as sexual beings can easily cross the line and create ourselves as simply sexual objects. It's horrifying to go through a magazine and see how many magazine advertisements cut off parts of a woman. Particularly disembodying the head. It's like, this way to take away the fact that this is a human being. The most characteristic is cutting out the eyes of a woman... eyes being the characteristic most associated to being human. It's just.... dangerous. I mean, I can't really imagine a woman who has never felt objectified, and it's a horrible feeling. It's that which worries me the most.

As to masks... I do agree with Madonna. However, with a slant. I figure that no matter where we are, we are performing. We can't help it. We're socialized to believe that we must act in certain ways in front of different types of people. It's the one thing that provides consistency in our society. Even avoiding those norms is an act, one of rebellion. I love the idea of living without pretences, but I simply don't see it as a possibility.

Also, I love you.

Holmes said...

amanda, i'm thinking now's the time to invest in a Hawking-esque speech machine(it would really bring coin-op to life)!

all my love to you,so happy the surgery went well!

sarah

Andy Pants said...

Re:Madonna

Is someone being 'in complete control of their own life' really something to idolise?

I like to think I have some control over my own life. But that I also give some control to the signifigant people within it. The people that I feel matter.

Isn't to be completely independent ultimately to be completely alone? Isn't that alienating?

Michael said...

Re: Munich ... whoever asked for some nice (hot?) places around Munich (and who I can't find in any comments posted here) - feel free to contact me. Been living there for more than 10 years now (and still not tired of it) and maybe I can help out a fellow Dolls fan.

And Amanda ... if you threaten serious physical damage to people for not visiting Regensburg: I can just as easily kill you if you don't come to Munich, next time you're touring Europe/Germany.

Enjoy the silence.

Chuculain said...

I had this huge post written but then my explorer crashed... grrrr. I'm too tired to try and reconstruct it, and it was a meandering waffle about female sexuality from a gay man's perspective (I know, wtf? right?)

So instead I'll just wish you a speedy and happy recovery. I wonder what your voice will sound like afterwards? (Lol, imagine Dr. Girlfriend from the venture Brothers.)

almostpeople said...

"Amanda says You Choose, Ladies: mask today, naked tomorrow, lip-gloss today, overalls tomorrow. fuck 'em if they can't handle you either way."

new favourite quote on facebook.

glad your surgery went well. here's to a speedy recovery.

Pat said...

Hi Amanda!
So happy to hear that your surgery went well. I can't even imagine staying mute for even 5 minutes unless by choice...I talk incessantly to anyone and everyone:-)
My son introduced me to Dolls a couple of years ago and I was instantly hooked. You and Brian are everything I dreamed of being as a young girl but...in a rural Massachusetts town that was absolutely NOT acceptable so I became a nurse instead--lol.
I have a major favor to ask of you and Brian and anyone who reads this and wishes to help promote a band with great potential. PLEASE go to my son's band website www.myspace.com/throughthewishingwell and vote for them for the Taste Of Chaos Tour. They are very close to winning and this might be the boost they need. Roadrunner records has expressed interest in them but unfortunately the producer they were working with had to leave the area for a family emergency prior to finishing their CD. My son Mike is the drummer and he has taken alot of his drumming style from Brian. Actually he is very animated and could be a one man act! I have referred to him as my "comic relief" since he was about a year old and now at 20 he keeps me young and up to date on the music scene.
If anyone wishes to comment back to me I am Pat at veronurse54@aol.com

June Miller said...

Isn't the cowbell skit wonderful?

Well, I'm very glad to hear your surgery went splendidly. It sounds like your recovery is going rather nicely.

Hospitals freak me out, a bit. I already don't like doctors, but...hm. No. I don't like it in there, for all the reasons you mentioned while being there.

But your family movie nights fucking slay, man!

I used to sometimes apply my eyeliner while listening to "Goodbye Horses." Does that make me a bit strange? Whatever. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me hard.

Alright. Feminism. I deliberately avoided this when it was brought up the last time. I don't think I can contribute too much to this topic because, and I hope I don't sound like an asshole by saying this, but I don't really relate to a lot of girls/women. Marlene Dietrich has this famous quote: "I believe I am, at heart, a gentleman." I sympathize. I have boobs, a vag, a menstrual cycle, I dabble with make-up sometimes and I can rock a skirt like nobody's business. I shave my legs and pits, but only because I like feeling silky smooth. That's about where the similarities end, in my opinion. I'm not overtly feminine but I'm not a bull-dyke, either. It's fun to walk a fine line between, though I do only tend to wear skirts. It's only 'cause I like 'em more than pants. No feminist message behind it, or anything. Sexuality, though? Well. I have to be careful with that.

I'm not like other chicks. I've been told I'm not really like other dudes, either. I don't just want to get laid, I'm sorry. I know that it's fun, it'll feel good, it'll make me cum...whatever. That's awesome. Look, it's not like I don't look forward to it, whenever that is.

However. I'm not losing my V to anyone in this town. Why? I'd regret it instantly, I know it. I've mentioned here before that there's really no options as far as gay folk are concerned 'round these parts. And in the past, I've been with guys, so it's not like I couldn't lose it that way either. It just simply didn't feel right when I was with them, because I'd only think about wanting to do the same things with a woman. They were pretty girl-ish looking gents, anyhow.

Because of this, I've not made sex one of my top priorities.

The problem with girls in small towns is that they get just as hormonal as young men do (maybe even a bit more so). They, in turn, only start to think with THEIR cocks. Feminism allows girls to be comfortable with their sexuality and embrace it as something healthy and human; small town girls take their sexuality and wield it like a motherfucking battle axe. Hey, maybe it's not even just a small-town thing. And you know, I'ma be upfront, it really gets me when I see chicks using sex as a power device in relationships. Yeah, of course sex and power can go hand-in-hand, but I mean..I guess I feel there should be some sort of middle-ground. That's truly how I don't relate to a lot of girls.

God. Maybe I am just a prude.

This seems to be shifting from feminism to relationships in general. You might want to take into account that feminism and lesbianism can also sometimes go hand-in-hand.

Oh Madge. We're nothing but masks, and then there's some of us who just like to smash them to pieces.

...

Wow. I hope any of that made sense or wasn't just coming out of left field, or anything. Like I said, I wasn't too sure about responding to that one.

Hey, but I love Jodie Foster.

...

'my mind is starting to slowly turn to All Things Artwork...i can tell. i'm looking at everything greedily and visually.'

:) I feel ya.

Eat more ice cream and enjoy...god, yes, I was about to say 'the silence.'

Corey said...

gosh, I find myself agreeing with so much stuff you have to say. it's kind of scary.

Twin Peaks FTW! My mum told me about that show, because she and my dad used to watch it in the 80's. it's crazy, and awesome, and wonderful, and I still haven't seen all of the second season. when you first saw twin peaks, were you creeped out by bob? [my sister was, so she stopped watching with my mum and i.]

Good to hear about your surgery.

and I was going to say something else, but I've forgotten...it was probably about Silence of the Lambs...which was amazing and creepy as hell, but not as creepy as bob from twin peaks...okay.

girlwithacamera said...

When you do the stage design I want to be the blonde slut with the mirror.

---

I love Silence of the Lambs. My theatre professor in college (the one who was the personification of the paradigm) has one claim to fame: he is the guard who gets his face ripped off. Needless to say I've watched that particular bit more than a few times.

---

I am jealous of your silence.

stella... said...

came across your blog today although i have been a fan for a long time. my main inspiration for commenting now is your mention of twin peaks which made my day. while it isn't surprising to hear your are a peaks fan, it is very thrilling.
Amanda, you're all right.

best wishes in your recovery.

catgirl said...

I'm so glad the surgery went well! I prayed and have been sending positive, healing thoughts your way!

It's funny, I have worked at hospitals for a looong time. You're right- they are wacky, strange, often confusing places. You usually see people at their worst, but when you're really really lucky, you get to see them at their best. But easing the pain and anxiety of the sick and those who love them is an amazing gift. I am not a doctor or a nurse, I have a funny, obscure job where my whole focus is to do just that. I provide the little "human" touches that make the hospital a comforting place. Not to say that the nurses and doctors don't- many of them do- but that's my whole focus. Medicine and surgeries do their job, but the healing of the whole person (body, mind and spirit) is so important!

So, as a healthcare professional, I recommend that you listen to music that you find soothing, surround yourself with soothing smells like baking bread and cookies or flowers, sleep as much as you need to, spend some time outdoors, take aromatherapy baths, let the people who love you do things to care for you... well, you get the idea! When you care for the whole person, healing occurs easily and naturally!

And, you are even more eloquent now when you are "silent" than you are when you are speaking. This is one of your gifts! Thank you for being you- you are fabulous!

xoxo
~Cat
(Your "80's girl!")

märica said...

///Amanda says You Choose, Ladies: mask today, naked tomorrow, lip-gloss today, overalls tomorrow. fuck 'em if they can't handle you either way.///

that's a shuckin' and jivin' halleluja.

wishing you a speedy recover...

KK said...

congrats on finally being de-noded. i'm glad the surgery was successful and everything went okay. if you need any help cutting stuff out for that set, let me know. haha

you should compose some instrumental pieces just for the hell of it while you can't sing. that'd be fun.

faeriewings said...

I'm happy you're feeling better! I hate hospitals and surgery, so congrats for surviving. (:
I loooove the Silence of the Lambs. I started watching it when I was in 5th or 6th grade... pretty much explains why I'm such a weird child. I read the books too. :P

David said...

SSSSHHHHHH! Day #3. Have you spoken yet?

Marika said...

Percocet is fucking AMAZING. I had surgery last year and they gave it to me when I woke up...as they wheeled me back from the recovery room, my mom asked me how I was and I said, "I feel GREAT!" I then insisted I wasn't tired and tried to turn on the TV, but fell asleep.

A few hours later, with Vicodin on top of the Percocet, I called my friend and she laughed because I was stoned out of my mind.

Surgery can be kind of fun, in a weird way, because of things like that.

The_Kill said...

wow, i do not think i could stand the silence. i love to talk and sing. oh, and by the way i wanted to ask you. Will you and Brian be touring this summer again on True Colors? I missed last summer and would love to see you guys come to LA. <3

-David

murmel a.k.a. Kat. said...

aagh, these boots make me think of the strange imagination that they once were lovely, little, fuzzy bears who got slaughtered in a blood rush by japanese whale hunters JUST to please fashion focussed teenie girls in the US.

but hey : I REALLY wish you all the best for your throat and everything concerning it !
I once had problems with my vocal chords, too. Not being able to talk is like being held on a veeeeeeeeeery long leash...

I hope you'll be fine soon ! :)

All the best from overseas,
murmel

Mori said...

Smith may have feminists, but it also has amazing performance theorists and queer theorists and even a strange Republican in the economic department who talks about how women only want to find men who will stick around after sex. He had this as an example in a math class.

*Anyway*, the idea I picked up there was something rather different than what others may have, because I lived in the theater department; identity as performance. I love the idea that everything about presentation of self, gender, identity, ethnicity, culture and role is created in the space between what we imagine and what we perform. All anyone sees of us is an external package, or even "package", but we can shape what they see, what they perceive and how we embody their expectations. Even Madonna's lack of a mask is its own mask. The world is a beautiful, mutable place that shapes us as we shape it.

When I call myself "woman" I am harmonizing with what anyone who hears or sees that declaration imagines "woman" to be.

p.s. I am so happy I found your blog!

Cailin said...

Re: Bacon - The Artist, not the food

Do you know of William Dudley, the scenic designer? He does lots of really cool art based stuff. His set for 'The Homecoming' was inspired by Francis Bacon paintings and the Victorian Gothic house from Psycho...

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