Friday, July 11, 2008

vintage blog: WHY AUSTRALIA DEFEATS ALL ELSE.

so, i wrote this a long time ago, and, as you do, left it rotting on my desktop.
it's perfect timing though, a lot of what you see here became a rough draft for the tour we're taking on the road in the fall.
so get tickets, fuckers. the danger ensemble will be with me starting sept 27th in ireland. we're going to eff your head with art love.

i will gradually bombard y'all now with a mix of old and new bloggage until the time-space continuum is set RIGHT.
i'm planning a new blogging system that will SWALLOW YOUR HEAD starting in a week or so. so watch out mofos.

i am so busy.
working on the book with neil.
working on the new website.
working on a new theater project for next spring.
working on not feeling bad about ignoring my email.

it is awesome.

here we go............yo...............................


WHY AUSTRALIA DEFEATS ALL ELSE.
december tour 2007.



REASONS WHY AUSTRALIA DEFEATS ALL OTHER NATIONS, IN PICTURES.

THE WILDLIFE.
the first day of my trip to australia, tom took me to the zoo in ballarat.
this is where i saw the actually fucking kangaroos.

what do you WANT from me??


this is a python eating a rabbit, whole. we watched in fascination. it took about 3 minutes.
pythons would probably not eat you or me, so i think this does not count as a reason against australia defeating all other nations.




these things were just plain weird. but they defeated american lizard.


heading where everyone ultimately wants to head.



the last temptation of tom dickins.

he's a great songwriter with a voice of gold, btw:
www.myspace.com/tomdickins

that night i saw tom acting in a play. it was wonderful. he was wonderful.

it was sitting in a cafe in downtown ballarat that i first discovered that maybe australia wins above all.
it could have been been because my life at home was basically in total flux and chaos. i won't assume that.


THE WEATHER
can you wear this in boston in the dead of winter?
i don't think so.



NICK CAVE
obviously, if one spent enough time in australia, one WOULD run into him in a hungry jack's.
meanwhile, the arts center next to the spiegeltent was running a FREE exhibition of All Things Nick. points.
there was no bathroom in the tent, we had to pee in the arts center.
so every time i went to pee (and i was hydrating a ton, so i peed about 6 times an hour) i got to walk by these ginormous photos of His Nickness in all phases of his career.
there was a strict no-photo rule.

i love you.


the notes that also adorn the inside of my all-time favorite nick CD, "let love in":



THE PEOPLE
i spent the entire trip with steven, peta, mark and kaite from the danger ensemble. the danger ensemble is an offshoot of Zen Zen Zo, the physical theater group some of you guys know from the roundhouse and our last aussie tour.
they created beautiful theatrical pieces to go along with the show.
they brought lyndon their violin-playing friend, who arranged a bunch of songs with me, and there was drew (who's not from austrailian, he's from liverpool, but he's still awesome. he took most of these pictures and took footage of the shows and tried sushi AND avocado for the first time. wtf)
we rehearsed for a few days in melbourne before starting the run at the spiegel, and we found krin (yes, krin! of krin and jonas! she's left Cirque Eloize and been hired by La Clique to perform tissue in the tent and we worked her into Half Jack, she's the bombitty).

it was mostly stevens fault but the Your Mum jokes just wouldn't stop. somedays we enacted a rule where you couldn't make a Your Mum joke until nightfall. it never worked.

your mum wouldn't stop last night.

granted, not everyone in australia is the danger ensemble, or a good violin player. but i did spend about five straight days in a boiling van with them and i STILL LOVED THEM.
that says a fucking lot.
we slept at renee's for the first ten days, like sardines all on one floor of one room. i'm sort of sorry i didn't' get a picture of that. it was like an ongoing slumber party.
big props to renee for putting us up and letting us monopolize her kitchen for 10 days.
your mum let me monopolize her kitchen last night.

anyway.
we met the most wonderful folks along the way.
one day we saw a transvestite wearing only women's panties running at top speed down brunswick street and steven read in the news the next day that the man subsequently jumped off a bridge.
that wasn't good, actually.
i'll tell you what happened to him in the next blog

he died.


but there were much better things: we met the follow who put us up on a new floor in sydney.
they were sweet and kind, first-rate folks and they opened for us in sydney and fully Brought The Rock. we invited them to drive up to our last-minute show the next night at the winsome hotel.
in sydney we played to a sold-out house of 600. the next night in lismore we played to, i believe, 29 people, about half of whom were irritated locals who were simply trying to enjoy their drinks in peace.
the follow and i took the opportunity to play a drunken space-jam. you don't get to do that very often. hopefully the youtube footage has been taken down by now, because it's really embarrassing.



rehearsing with the Danger Ensemble in melbourne...........

lyndon&co, going through funeral and "astronaut"




running "strength through music"


cuddle puddle (clockwise spiral from top: steven, me, katie, mark, lyndon, peta)



THE SPIEGELTENT
okay, okay, the spiegeltent moves around.
but it's MOSTLY in australia. and the people who run it are australian. points
the tent is truly a magical place where magical things happen.
we were on every night after La Clique so we got to warm up to the sounds and antics of accordions and flying trapeze and captain frodo the amazing rubberman and the bathtub acrobat and and and
it was heaven.

backstage at the tent.....

steven, lyndon, mark



THE SHOW:
first night at spiegel.


lyndon in sydney.


the funeral procession.


mark and steven in mourning.


me & lyndon.


mark & me & some of steven during "coin-operated boy"
<333


"the assistant"...
beautiful peta


beautiful katie


"strength through music".
(beautiful steven, peta, katie & lyndon...and yes, some of mark's hand...you're beautiful too mark).

the day after i got to australia, i read in the news that a 19-year-old kid from nebraska had opened fire in a shopping mall and killed a bunch of people.
the piece was never more appropriate, and we held a moment of reflection each night.


ella ella eh eh eh (peta, katie and mark)


i EAT YOUUU AND YOUR CAMERAAAAAAAAA


impromptu singing with azaria from The Follow, and a vegan cupcake (before i eated it)


OK.
my case is closed.
i digressed, but my reasons are many.

one last picture.

saying sad but heartfelt goodbye to the tent.


goodbye tent.
goodbye australia.
goodbye danger ensemble and lyndon and drew.
goodbye "van of love".
goodbye pumped waters.
goodbye vegemite, you're the one bad thing about australia.
goodbye kangaroos.
goodbye weather.


hello MOTHERFUCKING USA FREEZING-ASS TOUR WITH THE DRESDEN DOLLS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!
we're psyched as shit.
please dress WARMLY yet WITH STYLE, you freaks!
hats! hats hats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and ellas. ellas keep the cold out.


merry xmas, happy everything,
send cold-killing garlicky vibes my way

see you all soon, i love you.


PCIMFF
a

42 comments:

sarah said...

this blog is fuckin' awesome.
take me travelin' with you ?

Theerlking said...

Australia adores Amanda as much as Amanda adores Australia (and alliteration? )

Vegemite is brilliant. Don't fight it.

Camille said...

sexy photographs.

i agree, living half the year under a big cloud of snow and rain and grey and moody shit is not my idea of fabulous.

glad you were able to find some sort of sanctuary on the opposite side of the world.

Jet Girl said...

Nice, I've always wanted to go to Australia...maybe someday.

Missed you guys in Austin, the life of a waitress is never one of free time.

dekabouterprinses said...

it's funny that this blog you decided to put up just now, in july, say merry christmas at the end.

A friend and I are throwing a christmas party in a few days, because we think only 1 christmas per year isn't enough.

So thankyou and merryfuckin'christmas yourself, too!

kate said...

Wow... for a change, i feel like australia is a cool place to live!
ha!
we get exchange students at our school and they're always amazed when they look at the school oval and there are kangaroos hopping all over it. i'm not fucking joking either, they walk through kangaroo crap and proclaim it 'awesome!' in their funky european accents where we just go 'ewwwwww'
also, yeah, you'll see ANYTHING at brunswick street... the valley's a great place though :)
and you sad merry christmas... don't know if that was intentional, but HAPPY CHRISTMAS IN JULLLLYYY XD i don't know if you guys have it over there, but it's cold in july and more christmassy... psh anyone who celebrates it still ends up playing cricket in the backyard anyway haha

scarlett said...

I really think the response to this blog should be entitled WHY AMANDA PALMER DEFEATS ALL ELSE.
your melbourne spiegeltent shows were fuckin' unbelievable! totally made my xmas, that's for sure!

As for the fucking kangaroos, most australians haven't even had the chance to experience that visual opportunity, so you are one of a chosen few.

i'm glad you enjoyed australia. We love you too! please come back soon! will you make it back to the tent this year??

and vegemite...fantastic on toast, esp. when hungover.

mistress jolly said...

"heading where everyone ultimately wants to head." haha and yes please!

I have a slight concussion today and looking at your blog was one of the things that did not hurt my head-in fact it made my head feel good. Always love your pictorial blogs...clever with words, music,performance,and pictures...you really should be illegal dear!!!!

Black market Amanda Palmer would be way too pricey though...worth it but pricey.

Amanda said...

did you ever get up to long island?
when i was down under as a student ambassador, they took us out on a bush walk and we got to lick these ant's posteriors that were lime colored and actually tasted like limes.

hold a koala next time you're there too. i can't rememeber the name of the place where i got to do that, but it's fucking bad ass.
they smell so overwhelmingly of eucalyptus. it's neat.

Amanda said...

p.s..
vegemite and sweaty bus drivers are the worst parts of australia. all other parts=the best in the world.

Olivia de Santis said...

If you love Vegemite as I do, it is one of the best things about Australia. Americans just need to be introduced to it in the right way.

Elise said...

fuckin yeah! eat my head all you want baby.

Nicholas said...

take me with you! I so need to do some traveling! lulz. Always wonderful to read whats going on in that lovely lil head of yours.

-Nick-
Arlington,Texas

Idril said...

Ohhh yes. Australia. Australia, Australia, Australia. I've spent last year in Melbourne and it was the most delicious time ever. I got to : pet a baby kangaroo, work as an assistant with the guy who painted the spiegeltent, see you in a concert inside said spiegeltent, befriend a whole lot of crazy-bohemian-artsy bitches from Melbourne, go to great warehouse parties...
Australia and Melbourne Wins. :)

(but just to mention : Nick Cave lives in Brighton, England, not in Australia anymore. My sister lives in Brighton a couple of blocks away from his house and come across him from time to time at the supermarket O_O.
Yes. Envy her.)

Adrian said...

This Blog is new for me. I knew nothing about it. He is really great. The texts and the pictures. I have taken up him on my link list. I will often visit him. I like your music very much.

killeronda said...

Glad you HAD fun! Love you, amanda.

Jazzy Stardust said...

Vintage blog hahah
This sounded like a gweat twip :)
Oh god, I love Nick Cave he's amazing.

June Miller said...

I couldn't really find the proper words to describe the pictures of you and Mr. Cave and the notes, until a little while ago. 'Dreamy.' That's the only thing I could come up with. Unbelievably dreamy.

"Let Love In" would have to be my favorite, as well. Why can't we have free Nick Cave exhibits here? Really?

...I dressed up as the individual in "Red Right Hand" for more than one Halloween in high school. I printed out the lyrics to show to people whenever they asked what I was supposed to be. The majority kind of read the lyrics and were just like 'Oh, weird.' There aren't many Nick Cave fans 'round here, unfortunately. Not many my age, that's for sure. Sukkas!

Have you heard he's got a new album out? He's supposed to tour the U.S. again (FINALLY.) for it. SO fucking there.

...

Was this the same trip that involved not only art-slumber-partying but effing ghost stories? Color me jealous.

I feel horrible for slightly chuckling at the story about the transvestite going over the bridge. But come on now. Is there not something worth chuckling over in this scenario?

'heading where everyone ultimately wants to head.'

The pouch of a marsupial?

...

It's all smokey around here. Cannot breathe. The only cool things would have to be that it makes everything look all post-apocalyptic and bleak. The sun, as it was setting this evening, was red. Not like, orangey-red like you see in the photos, but fucking bloody red. It was pretty sweet.

Australia would be a much nicer place to be right now.

Some of the pythons in Florida are thought to be man-eaters. But that's just another reason for Florida to sink into the Atlantic. Australia wins again!

Flozza said...

Hehe, I went to school with Katie. The Brisbane show, I was sitting there thinking "Hey, she looks familiar"...small world.

Come back soon!

Len Tower Jr. said...

vegemite is cool,
but marmite is the bomb

both are nano-foods,
best used in infinitesimal quantities along with complementary spreads like nut butter or margarine ...

---

was summer when and where you wrote this blog
is winter there and now, though not as cold as 021xx is in that season

---

all in favor of "ancient" unpublished amanda blogs seeing the light of the WWW

laboratoire_des_rumeurs said...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2168/2120613351_96c2097bdf_o.png

laboratoire_des_rumeurs said...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2398/2121391428_0fd5fa176c_o.png
This link (& the one above) is to pictures I took at the factory show in Marrickville.

eponine254 said...

No, South Africa defeats all else! I think you should come and tour here immediately. Please?

Blackbeard said...

[insert obligatory 'swallow head' joke here]

Laura said...

no, no Len tower JR veggimite is waaaay better than Marmite :O)

Best thing about OZ the TV show "Neigbours" especially Jackie Woodburn (Susan *Sigh*)

kate said...

wowee zowee!
there i am, innocently logging into myspace like the moronic myspace fiend that i am and i see a picture of you in the featured section! hehe

andrea said...

Everything sounds amazing, Amanda!
Australia is proudly on my list of places to travel.
Keep Rockin'

All my love,

Andrea

springkuikentje said...

AUSTRALIA ROCKS!!!

Been there for 5 months. Saw the whole fucking east-coast! Kangaroos, cassowaries. I even had a reall bushtucker and it was a-fucking-mazing!
I want to go back!

Can't I be your personal assistent when you go to Australia again?

Vegemite sucks!

Great barrier reef is FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!

Bad_Habit said...

I know that you probably wouldn't have the time to answer this question, but I was at the show that you had in Arizona and you mentioned something about a website where people could send their ideas for Dresden Dolls themed clothing and I totally forgot the name of the website. If you could find the time I would appreciate it if you gave me a reminder. thank you

Sarah said...

I loved the WKAM intro. The film work was amazing, but the music was breathtaking. You should record an instrumental record, it would be stunning! Somewhat akin to Anne Dudley. Best wishes.

Rachel said...

Oh Amanda, how I wish I was prettier than you.
THEN THOSE KANGAROOS WOULD BE MINE.

Read my new blog!
<3 Rachel

The Snails said...

Did you get to eat a Tim-Tam?

Avery Night said...

You need to come to Appleton, WI. No one ever comes here. Enjoy your art.

JP

sss said...

amanda, dearest... is there a way we americans can get our hands on a CD/MP3 batch of Tom Dickins? this guy is aaamaaazing!

ElectricWhore said...

Amanda, I am sorry to say that I will not be seeing you at the Rivoli because I am not of age. God it sucks to be 16 sometimes. Just sometimes. And because I really want to go on vacation (I'm a bit sick of Toronto). But don't you worry because one day I will get to see you again. I know you have a bad memory because Max told me so, but I was the creepy guy that hugged you during the Toronto show. You'll probably be seeing more of me.
Anyway I hope you have a marvelous summer and I wish you all the best.

L said...

Vegemite rocks, mortal...

And you know what else makes a great yeasty spread?

Your mum...

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