Saturday, February 16, 2008

this is such a bad idea this is such a bad idea

ok, i warned you.
here's a set of stills from the scope they did of my vocal vag.
it's in motion. your folds open and close hundreds of times per second to create the vibration that makes sounds, comrades.
so these are stills catching me in action singing different pitches.

they are apparently called "kissing nodes" since they are right across from each other.
your folds are supposed to close completely.
as you can see, mine don't close because those fucking nodes are bumping up against each other. they're in love.

oh, you people. thank you for all the advice and support. it's amazing how many of you have knowledge about this or have had it done - crazy.
everybody's always got shit wrong with them. we is human, we is flawed. thats the story.
speaking of flaws, by the way, i must own a terrible mistake i made in the last post:
vocal CORDS, not vocal chords. kinda beautiful, that mistake. and the two words are obviously etymologically related. cave man music!: strike cord, make chord.

there is a bus advertisement in boston that is DRIVING ME NUTS: it is a wheel of fortune advertisement featuring the sparkly wheel of fortune green-letter board with the text:
how is it THAT NOBODY CAUGHT THAT? like, between all of the people at the ad agency, the printing agency and the bus-ad mounters nobody made a call and was like: THIS IS SO FUCKING GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT? fuck man. school-children all over boston are going to see that sign. it's like anti-education.
i've said many time that when i die i want all my money to go to this obscure non-profit in england that is devoted to the upholding of the correct usage of the apostrophe. i know, i know. i do not capitalize. shuttup.
on this subject i am reading yet another amazing book by my all-fav-time crush bill bryson called mother tongue: english and how it got that way. fascinating stuff, i recommend. i love bill. he needs his own song. christopher lydon got one.

i go in at the beginning of march and then plan to undergo convalescence at home while i work on the artwork for the solo album.
it's funny, but i don't think of the silence as being that difficult. i notice that when i'm at home working i will go hours and hours days without talking and not notice.
i was thinking about singing myself up for a silent meditation retreat during the two-week perdiod (i've done several of those, and they are wonderful) but then i realized that was just a pussy-ass move on my part to escape the work i need to do. speaking of which, i'm hunting for various designers of high artistic repute to help me with various packaging/website/projects. if anyone knows anyone awesome (and truly professional) comment me with a link. preferably people with high-concept art-love, nothing too corporate or corny.

i was in new york for about 8 days and did nothing but run from one meeting to another. and i'm not exaggerating. except for the day i was hung over. that day i did nothing but suffer.
i stayed in lance's HOT upper-west side apartment (he was in berlin with meow meow) and woke after little sleep every morning to negotiate the subway system and the cab traffic. brian came and joined me for a few days. we were manager hunting.

we're in love with our new record. the working title is "No, Virginia" and unless something wins over that, we're sticking with it. brian and i have been spending hours poring over old photos for the album artwork.
i'm also working hard on a songbook to accompany the record with ALL the sheet music for yes, virginia and no, virginia. i am torn about what to call the book. "possibly, virginia"? "a virginia companion"? "steal this sheet music book"?

our band is good. we love our band.

there was also endless talk in the New York Meeting week about my solo record.
it's so weird seeing all these industry folks sizing me up, sizing my music up, while i size them up. this place where business collides with art - it's strange lands.
i only know what i know, i only know how i deal with my band, my music, my business. it's only in hearing about other artists careers that i learn about what makes me different.
i wish i knew more songwriters and musicians. the odd thing is that i get the majority of knowledge about other people's careers through magazines, books and other music industry people.
i wonder if they all feel the same way. we are all ships passing in the night, huddled in our sealed-up tour busses wondering when we'll get to the promised land.
some of the things that i learn about other artists that i love and respect shock me. some things don't shock me.

i am getting on a plane today to head for the west coast....quick meetings with katie kay and our new post-war trade intern leslie and then two weeks of seattle goodness.
jason and i are going to hunker down with the evelyn twins and finally finish this record. why am i making so many records? i Do Not Understand. something happened.

while we were in new york brian and i also stopped in and did a quick-for-fun recording with our friend franz from world/inferno and the Hold Steady. franz is a the-shit accordion player.
we did two covers: one for a johnny cash compilation and one for a jonathan richman compilation. both songs came out great and i won't ruin the surprise too much - hopefully they'll both come out by summer or fall.

while we were in there i was telling franz about my hangover, which was still, three days later, hanging on over. i cannot drink like i used to. i swear, i used to be able to take it. nowadays my sensitive little yoga-body is becoming a wuss. drinking is terrifying. hangovers are terrible. someday i will write a long story about the year i spent at 20 completely drunk and all the embarrassing details and near misses with rape and death. one thing is for sure: if i stack up all of the serious mistakes and regrets and shame-filled moments of my life, most of them fall in the drunk basket. thank god i never spent a year on hard drugs. why do we do this?

i went to the dentist and she told me i'm brushing too hard and that my gums are going to slowly disappear if i dont fucking watch it. i have been trying to brush with less vigor.
i write so hard when i use a pencil that i often rip through the paper.
i have been singing so forcefully for so many years that i have KISSING NODES.

is there a message here somewhere?

franz and i were about to take vocals in the studio in brooklyn and franz noticed i was passing up the delicious cashews that brian was offering me.
i told him that i've learned my lesson too many times: eating before doing vocals = bad. we then exchanged stories about accidentally eating tons of mexican food before performances and what occurs (hint = nothing good).
i once ate a giant burrito before a gig in pittsburgh. i almost vomited AND fell asleep during the set. we agreed that there's something evil about a burrito specifically: it just BEGS to be finished. it's very hard to wrap up and save for later. franz re-enacted the moment in which you are sitting there, over the plate of enchiladas, having eaten half of it and already full, continuing the raise the fork to your mouth while simultaneously thinking "THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA THIS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA". what the fuck is up with us humans? why are we so un-evolved and completely stupid? i don't envy us.

i was prescribed a sort of anti-reflux medicine that all patients of this surgery have to take before going under the knife. i never take medication but i take a lot of vitamins. i was supposed to take one each morning before eating.
ok. easy. oh, and not drink. i think. whatever.

so the other night i had 3 glasses of wine with dinner, went to bed, woke up, ate lunch, took the medication, felt queasy, got in the car to go to yoga and then had to pull over on storrow drive and yarf in a plastic micro-center bag. it didn't even occur to me that it was the medication. i was in such a state of shame about my hangover the previous week that i decided i was just an alcoholic and that i should book a ticket to LA and head to promises with lindsay and brit-brit. i went to yoga, threw away the yarf-bag in a parking lot trash can, spent the entire time curled up in a ball on my mat, went to drive home, and yarfed again (this time in a chinese food take-out bag). it was a terrible day. there was a party at my house that night (which i thankfully wasn't running) and i barely made it upstairs. max played the accordion. i just noticed there is lots of accordion in my life. i love saying Yarf.

from comments:

kristie wrote

I need new headphones for ipod/walkman use. do you have any reccommendations?

You rock, by the way.

i use two headphones, both expensive so brace yo'self:
for casual listening and excercising and karaoke filming i use bang & olufsen wrap-arounds, seen here:
for serious listening and studio-monitoring when i sing, i use (getting geeky here) HD280 sennheisers:

Jessie Maims, R.O.C.K. wrote:
This surgeon isn't the same one who took away Julie Andrews's voice along with her nodes, is it?

funny you should ask. actually, the doctor who is doing the surgery in teh one who SAVED julie andrews' voice afer she got it all fooked by that other doctor.

Eric wrote:
Break a leg in surgery. I found a copy of Blackfish in my parents' attic and will send you the pdf as soon as I have a chance to scan it.

damn, man! send that shit!
for everyone elsE: blackfish is the zine i made 4 issues of in high school. it's hilarious. i'd love to post copies somewhere online. i used to spend hours and hours and hours making them.
and eric and i recently re-united at a DC show - we went to high school together and eric was in the first play i ever wrote and directed. yip times! i love Again things.


long ago, when i was working as a street performer, some film student asked me if i would do this, so i did.
here i am, as the 8-ft bride in a student film with avant art-rock in the background:

ah to be 22 with that much free time.
it's funny, i look back at things like this and barely remember doing them. i like to think that it isn't that my memory is bad but just that my brain is full.


after my convalescence, i've got a few things coming up.
the dolls record (pope's clever new title: "Know, Virginia" - which to me sounds like the name of a planned parenthood campaign) is going to come out in late may.

i am going to make a few very small appearances in may (including the yoga journal conference - namaste motherfuckers! - in boston, my first attempt at singing with my new CORDS).

then in june i'm going to play at boston symphony hall with the boston pops. i had no idea just how much of a huge deal it was until i told my parents and they flipped out. i suppose it's hard for me to gauge because symphony hall is right down the street from my house and i pass it on my way to the grocery store every day. it's just THERE. but man, folks is psyched, and i'm psyched and i'm going to kick ass all over the place with those fuckin' real-music playin' bastards. keith lockhart, the conductor, apparently asked if he "gets to wear make-up"; this is going to be great fun. i might make him a dress. maybe a kimono or something. o boy o boy. i will be playing piano in front of a 100-piece orchestra playing my songs. this is cool. i will do some solo stuff, some dolls stuff, some other stuff. surprises will be.

in july i'm putting together my own little party-land at the Rothbury Festival, which is about a 3-hour drive from chicago in the middle of the woods. we're getting a TENT and i am very happy.
we will have croquet and cold drinks and lots of friends over to play. parades and head-shaving may be involved. Ill be playing every day of the festival: the dolls will be playing the mainstage, I will be playing solo in the tent and I might even be teaching yoga in the morning like a fucking hippie.
Aw yeah.


more later.

i still have two blogs on my desktop from australia and montana. they are now Vintage Blog

maybe instead of posting them i will sell them to people magazine to get money for crack




eleanor ruby said...

i really can't wait 'til the boston pops show. that's going to be absolute madness.

and, you are one HARD motherfucker.


Chuck said...

I hate misused apostrophes, and I always think the same thing when I see them used improperly. I also hate split infinitives and improperly placed prepositions, but that's a different matter.

(By the way, I can forgive improper capitalization as long as it is done on purpose as a stylistic choice.) =)

Chelsea said...

Congratulations on playing with the Boston Pops! And THANK YOU for coming within two hours of my hometown for the Rothbuy Festival! It is so rare living in northern-lower michigan (yes, i live in an's fan-fucking-tastic)that i am able to ever see a show!

sarah said...

i'm going to try my hardest to convince my mother to go to the boston pops show. she loved the orpheum one, so maybe, just maybe, i can renew the amandapalmer/sarahjesse picture! :]
i'll try to make it to every Mass show.
No, Virginia would be the perfect title for an album. perfect.
so, i'm about to tell you something totally ridiculous:
i've been sick with bronchitis, but listening to you has given me soooo much energy that i actually feel a lot better. screw medication, man. music is the true remedy.

Matt Wyllie said...

Hey Amanda,

Good to hear your surgery's with a fantastic doctor. Hope you have a kickass recovery.

"i am torn about what to call the book. "possibly, virginia"? "a virginia companion"? "steal this sheet music book"

In responce to this...

A friend of mine and I were actually discussing an idea similar to this the other day. She made the comment of "What's the next album gonna be called? Possibly, Virginia? Maybe, Virginia? Fuck Virginia?"

I. personally, like Fuck Virginia. lol

lance said...

Well i thought i'd seen some nasty pics on t'internet up until now....

Have fun at the festival. I like the idea that you will play every day. Reminds me of Fatboy Slim turning up and playing an impromptu set for the people waiting in line at the Glastonbury beer tent a couple of years ago. My advice is take a casiotone and try your luck (how much free beer can you drink?)

Ships in the night usually end up where they are destined for....

As for web design/concept stuff, a very close friend of mine is the founder of one of the most successful multimedia companies in NZ
They have a guy by the name of Preston McNeil who is renowned for his work in digital music video production.
Very cool people, into artistic integrity.

God bless alcohol and all who sail in her.

lance said...

Here's a direct link to Preston's Music video production page...

Is worth checking out.

Suzanne said...

My mother, for some reason which I cannot possibly fathom, loves brushing her teeth. She brushed them so hard and long for years that she brushed ridges in them. Now more food gets stuck in them.

Also, I know this doesn't really have to do with misplaced apostrophes, but Neil Gaiman linked to a blog recently that your post reminded me of. (Also I saw you sent him a copy of Who Killed Amanda Palmer. Now I really, really want to be Neil Gaiman, and not just because I'm jealous of his talent and his adorable hair.)

I really wish I had had my camera with me when I passed a billboard on the highway recently emblazoned with the message:


This comment has been removed by the author.


i live in boston (arlington) and i've seen that bus many times. I've had many discussions about it and i have COME TO A CONCLUSION:

the advertisement is for the 'Wheel of Fortune' and what they're trying to say is "The Wheel" (meaning the wheel of fortune) is on the bus (meaning the advertisement on the bus.) so they are really doing a play on words (well, grammar) and saying 'the wheel's on the bus' as opposed to 'the wheels on the bus' < as it is most commonly used in the children's song.

So that is my theory. that may be why they wrote it like that. Or they just made a ridiculous grammatical error.

:] aiudsndivausdftgosdrg

ps-obviously, i love you. and i'm wicked excited for the dolls new album. <3

Anonymous said...

I'm highly amused by "Steal This Sheet Music." Also, you must know of Bob the Angry Flower's Guide to the Apostrophe:

Brooke said...

I told my friend Kristy about you needing help with the art, hopefully she will message you. She is awesome!

California State University, Sacramento said...

Dear hard brusher... get a Sonicare tooth brush... awesome... dentist said same thing to me. Like a massage for your mouth. PS-I want more vocal cord/fold pics for the class I teach... possible? All the college kiddies learning anatomy looking at your inner larynx. Haha...

Emma said...

I also, am jealous of Neil Gaiman getting your album! I think you and he are my two favourite artistic people of all time. He's such an amazing writer, I want to be just like him when I grow up. *grin*

Can't fucking wait for the new album! Is it going to come out in Australia the same time as everywhere else?

Man, how fucking great is it going to be doing the pops show? Totally ragingly jealous of everyone who gets to go to that! Have a fucking great time!

nick said...

huzzah for the few, the proud... the grammar nerds. and have you ever seen the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotations? if not, something tells me you'd appreciate that.

mad love to you & best wishes on your surgery for those enamored nodes (nothing says fun with medical procedures like alliteration!)

Lisa said...

Hooray for grammar Nazis! You should really get hold of this book "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss. It's subtitled "The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation" and is a hilarious read for us pedants.

carinaroo said...

"i am torn about what to call the book. "possibly, virginia"? "a virginia companion"? "steal this sheet music book"

The Virginia Monologues?

entropyartist said...

Oh, pretty please, post the montana blog. I am wicked nostalgic, after being surrounded by all of this civilization for so long; enough so that I have even been paying money to see shit films because I've read that they were filmed in or near my big, empty state.
I'd like to see what sort of artistic, happy-place you were able to dig up there... they tend to be very well-hidden.


Melly said...

You should really read Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. It is an entire book about punctuation.

It is not at all geeky.

OMG, I love that book.

Henry said...

I don't know what kind of artwork you're looking for, but I do a bunch of oil paintings, pastels, and mixed media collage stuff. I'd love to be involved in any way!

I'm currently working on getting a website up and running, but I have some stuff posted on facebook and myspace

and best of luck with your vagi-node surgery!

Hunger For The Great Light said...

I just found out that I'm going to get to go to Rothbury this year. I'm so fucking excited i can't see strait. This line up is like a wet dream for me, and if you DO end up teaching yoga I can die happy.

rory said...

Amanda, you fucking rock.
Reading your blogs always makes me happy, and I was so pleased to hear about another apostrophe pedant.
No-one else I know seems to understand why I come down with an odd twitch every time they misuse an apostrophe.
All the best for the surgery, and I hope the silence is ok for you, as I am sure I would never cope.
Extremely excited for your solo record and the new Dolls record, both will probably make my year.

Much love, Rory.

metarie said...

There's a shop in my home town called 'Its Kitsch' which has driven myself and my fellow English Lit graduates crazy for the last year or so. We plan to mount an apostrophe attack at midnight sometime soon.

I twitch everytime I walk past it then I kinda hate myself for getting so frustrated over something so trivial.

I'm going to shamelessly pimp my friend's trinkets. Sheena had a photo used in the Yes, Virginia sleeve notes and I thought you might be interested to see what else she does ^_^

Janet said...

I was going to say I was a professional art director/designer, but I am definitely several years of experience and reputation-building away from that. Whoever you do find, though, let me know so I can apprentice to them.

Good luck with cutting them kissing nodes.

unslaked said...

"SINGING myself up for a silent meditation..."

Beautiful. ;)

If you're still on the hunt for designers - espesh web + Flash stuff, gimme a shout, I'll send along a folio link and bio:


Kate said...

I understand about the apostrophe. the Kroger in the town where my college is (very tiny) says "Meat's" above the meat section. I was appalled.

tropical_crossdressing_bird said...

well, miss palmer, i feel for you and your vocal nodes. it seems very much likely that i have this same thing going on, what with the way they seem to be working. i also understand this idea of being an alcoholic, i'm slowly becoming one. i am going to join the air force though i think, so i guess i'm supposed to be an alcoholic. we'll see huh? you take care of your singing equipment. we humans be fragile.

June Miller said...

Curses! Someone else already pointed out the ironic misspelling in a Grammar Nazi post. And The Virginia Monologues made me laugh.

So hey, I was eating a bit of cookie dough and drinking some milk when I started reading this entry. Teehee! Nah, I've seen worse than that, especially while eating. 'Kissing nodes' almost makes them sound cute.


BUT YOU SAY 'FOOK!' Thank goodness, the world makes sense. Sod on any other motherfucker who comments on me saying it, now. Sukkas!

I'm definitely liking 'yarf' though. Fuck hangovers. Quite simply, fuck 'em.


It's nigh impossible to finish a burrito in California. Go to the right taqueria (oh, there's a few), get a FAT burrito EXPLODING full of rice and cheese and fix-ins. Oh lord. Now I want one. I think I made three meals out of one, once.


Your Boston Pops show sounds like it's going to be fantastic. I wonder what your music will sound like through an orchestra? Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. I'd like a recording of that, at some point.

I got to see Estradasphere play with Sleepytime Gorilla Museum down in SF last night. That shit was hot. I'd never heard SGM's music before, but I read up about them beforehand and decided that they should be experienced live, first. Um, fuck yes. Those motherfuckers are CRAZY. My friend and I had to cut out a bit early, though, because my stomach was bugging me. Lame.


My friends' dad used to teach yoga in the afternoon in a PARK in fucking BERKELEY. Pretty damn hippie to say the least.


Things are slowly starting to come together for that crazy idea for a band I mentioned on here, once. We're talking about having a bellydancer. I am excited.

Hannah said...

I had the gum thing! They never warn you about brushing too hard. And then it is off to the periodontist for gum surgery, which involves taking an ice-cream scoop out of the roof of your mouth and stitching it to the bits of gum that have worn away due to vigorous brushing. You cannot bite anything for weeks, and you have this nasty-looking hole in your mouth (possibly grosser than vocal nodes, though less resemblance to genitalia), and a year later it still hurts to eat nachos. It blows. So watch them gums.

I am also glad to meet a fellow apostrophe enthusiast. In high school I started a non-violent terrorist organization called Al Comma, but all we did was design a logo and write notes next to badly punctuated graffiti. Still, perhaps we made a difference.

Really looking forward to the new record, and -- new songbook?? You are far too good to us...

sarah said...

BAHAHA! i was reading through the comments and there was one that made me laugh..a lot:
"dear hard brusher."

"fuck virginia" would be a great cd title, good call, fellow amanda palmer lover. good wheel of fortune theory as well.

amanda palmer, there's this fantastic place in NY at the end of July for four days. it's a folk festival, but most call it a hippie fest. it's wicked sweet and i go to it. i have since i was five. i'm fifteen now and haven't missed a year. anyways, i can totally picture you there! it's so much fun, there's good music such as ani difranco, who may be attending this year. a bunch of people camp out in this field and it's a lot of fun.
it's called Falcon Ridge Folk Festival. I can give you more details if you'd like. is the website. look into it, it maybe something you're interested. maybe not. my mom does the volunteer program for the fest. volunteers get to stay free, eat free, blahblahblah. :] yeah, so check that out!

sorry i totally just rambled. i drank a lot of orange juice and that stuff makes me really hyper.

email for getting more info:

long live amanda palmer! ;]

Shaun said...

mrow, lady, take care of those dern things.

It was so nice having you all back in St. Louis. Get some rest, the Punk Cabaret box should be on its way very soon.

If you like those HD 280's, you should try out the HD 650's. When I got them I couldn't stop listening to my music collection. I heard things I never even knew were in some of my favorite songs.

Rose said...

As someone else already mentioned... "was thinking about singing myself up for a silent meditation retreat" -- I saw that and was happy. A typing slip of the most meaningful kind.

Secondly, on the subject of misused apostrophes/quotation marks/etc - A housemate of mine accidentally stole a pen from the post office, and not only did the postal worker (pun intended) FIND him and have the mail carrier send a note to our house asking for the pen back, the note said something like this:

Please return my pen. 'It say': "The Lord Is My Savior"
Thank you very much.
(name withheld to protect the chronically bad-grammar-prone).

Literally. There were layered quotation marks. XD it almost gives me joy, it was so bad. I hope I can spread some of that perversity.

<3 rose.

Editorial said...

Three cheers for the Apostrophe Protection Society!

Down with the Greengrocers' apostrophe!

("Wedding Dresse's" was the most egregious one I ever saw).

A friend told me about her worst ever pre-show food just the other day- in Glasgow she was given a deep-fried pizza wrapped around a portion of chips.

jaxx said...

oh amanda, there's a lovely freudian language slip in among your ranting about the apostrophes...."i was thinking about singing myself up for a silent meditation retreat"

you *would* SING your way through a silent retreat, you creative genius!

good going linking this blog to myspace. much easier reading you here, i just signed up for the RSS feed.

GOOD LUCK with your healing -- may you become painlessly nodeless.


Jill said...

hi mand tochter

so here is the etymology of the two words, cord and chord. first of all , you are right, they both come from the same source. the first english spelling was cord and then in about 1645, there were 2 spellings, cord and chord.

the word came from the ancient greek, χορδή, which literally meant “gut”.

modern greek usage of the word χορδή means (musical sense) string and (anatomical sense) cord.

in Latin the word became chorda, meaning tripe, catgut [ :-( ], string of a musical instrument, rope.

both χορδή and chorda are feminine.

so there you have it.

love, Jill

David said...

Thanks Amanda for keeping us updated on your vocal cords. I especially appreciate your sharing the photos. You can get away with this kind of thing. When I posted these colonoscopy pictures my wife had a hissy. At least my colon doesn't look like a fuckin' virgina (thanks Sarah Silverman!).

Anyhoo, I think dirtyandcheap maybe right about the apostrophe in the Wheel of Fortune advert. But apostrophes probably should be outlawed since they are so often misused. I love Bryson too, he came to give a talk at the college where I work several years back. He told a funny little story. OK no more links to my blog. Sorry. I shouldn't be though because your blog was one of the first to inspire when I started blogging a year ago. Found your music first, then was delighted to find your writing on the blessed internet.

No Virginia, Know Virginia, Maybe Virginia, whatever you end up calling it I'm just happy that there's going to be another Dolls disk!

Koby said...

On The Album / Song Book Names...

Yes, Virginia = First Album
No, Virginia = Second Album
Know, Virginia = Songbook

Kind of perfect, if you ask me.

Chuck said...

I also have an idea for a name for either the album or the songbook:
P.S. Virginia

bug said...

Alright, call me an asshole, but I just now, like, two weeks ago, bought Yes, Virginia. To my credit, however, I had refrained this ENTIRE TIME, while religiously reading this blog and attending two of your shows, from downloading any of it. I can't help it that a couple sneaked mysteriously into my iTunes anyway...
But the point is, I HAVE BEEN PLAYING IT NON-STOP FOR WEEKS (with occasional breaks for the new Kate Bush album, which I also just bought two years after the fact, and Aeroplane Over the Sea, strictly on your recommendation). Your album is SO INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL AND INSPIRING, WORDS FAIL ME. In general, I tell you now, this message is just going to be a love-fest. I feel like such an asswipe posting here most of the time, because whatever you're talking about, most of the comments here can just be condensed to "I love you" over and over again in silent support. ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU.
I'm one of your obnoxious teenage fans, but I identify very strongly with your music, and I can't tell you how much it and yourself have helped me. I've been so afraid of being different of the people around me, that I really needed affirmation of some of the feelings and ideas I have because I'm so worried it's just a "teenage thing". I'm told that SO BLOODY OFTEN. To be able to read about a grown woman who is AWESOME AND BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL and ALSO has the same problems with the world as I do and lives, frankly, the way I want to has helped me make the best parts of myself grow.
Also, surgery! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Kinda onomonopoetic, actually. If I were you, I might give myself a bit longer to rest. Surgery is so invasive that bodies often have a very long recovery, to get over the shock more than the tissue damage. Like scalpel-rape. As much as I'm anticipating more tours and records and videos, better whole and in one piece.

Sarah said...

I'm sorry to hear about the yarfing...I hope you are feeling better with the meds.

Though I may not be the greatest at grammar, it kills me to see mistakes in the professional forum...whatever that really means (ads, company web sites etc.)

I start to lose faith in people; if they can't even get that right, what else have they done wrong?

Music recommendation: Kubilay Uner (best song: Good Bye Sweet Night)...absolutely gorgeous.

andrea said...

this doesn't have to do with your blog but i saw you put La Vie En Rose up on your myspace. i love that movie, i love her music. her life was just such a whirlwind. i hope Marion gets the oscar.

the future sounds promising and fun. it would be cool if i could go to chicago. we'll see.

do your thing.

all my love,


centraslayer said...

In Florida on either 441 or I-75 there are a bunch of signs that read "A Antique Mall"

It drives me up the wall. Get me the name of that non-profit (real or not) and shit will get done.

centraslayer said...

Also, as for an artist may I suggest Ms. Liz Shaw?

Yorksdevil said...

Somebody should probably point out that Eats, Shoots and Leaves is full of punctuation errors. The Language Log website seems to still harbour a suspicion that the book is itself a spoof.

hishy said...

Dear lord it would be the biggest honor if you guys let me do stuff for you. I would do anything for free for you guys :P

Please check out at some stuff, if you're able? I really don't have anything website related to actually submit, because either I got rid of all the websites that actually look nice, or the ones I have up aren't very functional.

but here's a few pieces I hope you'd enjoy:

It's not a lot, but I felt those pieces would probably be the most (and probably only) ones that might be of particular interest to the "dolls style"? Anyway, if I have peaked your interest like I hope, I would be honored if you looked around at my deviantart page (sorry, I mean to have a better gallery space, but it's a good start for me at the moment)

anyway, my deviantart page is:

Thanks~ much love

andrea said...

follow the link, enough said.


sarah said...


This should totally be the cover for a cd.
if you can't view it, it's here:

Andy Pants said...

You should include some crappy pun about your upcoming surgery in your album title.

Like 'NODE, Virginia'

Or 'Virginia Never NODES'

Or 'NODE doubt about it, Virginia'

Andy Pants said...

Oh wait, I have another one...

'Who NODES??!?!? Virginia...'

I could do this all day.

Andy Pants said...

Wait, wait...

'Yes, my vocal chords look like a Vagina'

Or simply (Please don't hate me for this)




'No Vagina'

Andy Pants said...

Just pretend I didn't say anything.

impoverished-artist said...

Someone else mentioned the book 'Eats Shoots and Leaves'. Which is awesome. But perhaps yet more awesome, and relevent to this whole apostophe debarcle is 'The Girl's Like Spaghetti' by the same author (who I can't recall off-hand). Which is all about apostrophes and how people screw them up.

Also, I just got my hands on a copy of the DD Companion and it is fucking amazing. Thank you so much for giving it to us all, it's a catalyst in making me my supposedly childish dreams of creating musicky magic resurface. And for the record, 'Coin Operated Boy' sounds very cool played on a piccolo along with a piano. Just to let you know.

Come back to New Zealand, we love you terribly much. xx

Evelyn said...

hey amanda, how random that when i was googling my blog yesterday I came across EvelynEvelyn and then you. I thought to myself "this can't be the same Amanda Palmer that I was friends with in Lexington", but yeah, it's you. If you get a chance, drop me a note. I'm currently living in Argentina but I commute up to NY about twice a month. My mom (who moved back to Holland) says hi by the way...haha. you can reach me through my blog at or hope your surgery is a success.

Marika said...

Not going to lie, your nodes are pretty gross. Kind of like vocal cord herpes on your vocal cord vagina. I'm really glad you found them and are getting them taken care of, though!

And speaking of herpes, maybe this will bring people joy:

allyson said...

check out my buddy sean's website for all of your graphic design/website needs. he rocks. he used to be a rock n roll drum tech, but stopped touring to be an adult. we've worked together on some guster merch. i wish he wasn't so busy so i could use him for more band merch. he rocks.

oh yeah, he's in nyc, lower east side to be exact.


Alameda Green said...

Random note that I was reminded of upon reading about Keith Lockhart needing to be made a dress (which I wholeheartedly support, btw):
My first concert, when I was 2 years old, was Bela Fleck and the Flecktones. My father and I were so close to the stage that between songs, we could hear him talking, and vice-versa. So, at one point, when he takes the stage in an African-inspired sort of wrap/robe/dress, I point at him, turn to my father and ask, "Daddy, why is that man wearing a dress?"
Apparently, Bela heard it, and couldn't stop laughing for like two minutes.
End of random reminiscing. Funny how men wearing dresses are now my preferred company.
PS- Apostrophes and the abuse thereof is bad, but for some reason, everyone I know says "seen" instead of "saw", and it just sends me into a blind rage. I swear to god, it drives me nuts. "I seen a shirt"...NO, motherfucker, you SAW a shirt, or you HAVE SEEN a shirt, but...geesh...I'm gonna stop before I give myself a hernia.

David said...

I also meant to say thanks for the nerdy advice on headphones! Thanks! God you're a NERD! How's the vocal vag doing? Had that surgery yet? Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery Amanda.

jadecoyote said...


I am sorry to hear about your 'kissing nodes' that cant be any fun at all. I was born and Boston and I know you hear this all the time, but I love your music. I was so envious of my friend Jenna who got yours and Brian's autograph when you were up here in Maine. Your music is addictive and helps me destress when I have a hard day..and believe me I have many. You and Brian are so talented. I just wanted to stop by and say "hello".


lucasv.rib said...

i love TDD and i hope you come to play in BRAZIL very soon, we can't wait to see you guys here!

amanda, i hope everything get's better with your cords =)


Anna said...

"Virginia's a demon with a needle and thread; she'll be just the gal to stitch together the blood-red cloth backdrop with the vagina-shaped opening through which the giant fetus enters in the first act. Jackie, the junkman's son, is a born prop man—he could dig up enough rusted urinals and soiled dolls' heads for a dozen plays! Sissy Chester can compose the dissonant, aleatoric score. And Spud never goes anywhere without his hammer and nails; he can build the stage and the sets, as well as the huge wooden letter M that drops to the floor and crushes the proletarian rioters at the end of Act II!"

-Hey, Everybody, Let's Put On An Avant-Garde Show! (from The Onion)

The Snails said...

We wanted to share this link of a post-alcoholic damaged human liver with you:

Would like to help with the album art, but I think it's beyond our physical capacity as mollusks. We tried to paint with watercolors once. My foot turned blue for weeks-it got kinda annoying. I think I'm more of a poet anyways...

We love you! Best wishes on your surgery!


Hubris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hubris said...


Lovely Amanda,

when inserting links into your text, include this in your link tag: target="_blank"

This will open your linked items in a new window.

example (a href="" target="_blank")DDolls Blog!(/a)

alternately, the rest of your fans are probably smart enough to right click and accomplish the same bloody thing.

I'm bored at work today. Can you tell?


Mat said...


It's been quite a while since I dropped a line--glad y'all are steaming right along. The Pops gig sounds like a great experience.

I'm one of those people--there's a lot of us, really--who are alive today because of modern medicine. My first heart surgery was at a few months; my most major, at five years, to fix a defect which would otherwise have killed me before the age of 17.

These nodes of yours are a pain in the organ, all right; but come November, should you find yourself preparing to carve a turkey and thinking about things to be thankful for, just maybe being rid of your kissing nodes will make the list.

You're gonna be fine, kid. Even better than you are now.


Yoli said...

Dude Amanda. Those chords are nasty.

David said...

How ya doin there Amanda? We need to know.

VeronicaS said...

There is a group dedicated to the proper use of apostrophes? I must know their name!

Witchseason said...

Re the bus ad - congrats on being one of the few people I've met who rants and raves about this sort of thing.

But it's not just apostophes. People spend a fortune getting pretty signs hand-painted, or millions of leaflets printed, and all they say in the end is "I am a moron".

My current favourites - a sign in my local swimming pool that says "thank you for your patients while we redecorate" and another that was in a dentist's window saying "cometics dentistry, teeth whitning". They replaced that, though, and now it says "cosmetic dentistry, teeth whitenning".

*Please* come to England!!!

sexy said...