Sunday, December 12, 2004

12/12/04 - Air New Zealand

I am sitting on a plane, on the last leg of London to New Zealand. We've been flying for almost 24 hours straight.

My head is a right mess, and my body is exhausted. We've been touring almost non-stop since summer. I remember once reading studies about the effects of Rapid Eye Movement sleep interruption....when you deprive people of REM, they can't dream. When they can't dream, they can't subconsciously process their lives. Then they slowly go insane. I'm feeling something similar.

The endless travelling with no real time to stop and reflect (and more importantly, create) has stunted my mental state of being - which I only notice in flashes here or there, like an amnesiac confronted with a sentimental photo. I try not to be too hard on myself, but I get scared by the fact that I can barely concentrate on a mindless magazine lately. My brain is being reprogrammed to think in shallow, five-minute intervals.

Things have gotten even more complicated lately by the fact that Brian and I have such an intense relationship, and it's being put to the test on the road. We're often like an old married couple, bitching mercilessly one moment and then caringly wonderful the next, and the manic-depressive relationship cycle slowly but surely starts to wear me down to the point where I feel like shutting off completely just to avoid further conflict. We're possessive and jealous like lovers, without the obvious silver lining that carries most lovers through the night. This relationship is one for the fucking books, I tell you....it'll take them years to figure out what actually happened. We barely know ourselves.

We found out yesterday that “dimebag” daryl from pantera was shot, along with the others onstage in ohio, and we were just dumbstruck. Brian was hard hit, this was an old idol of his from high school. And we ask each other, as we always do: what the fuck? what is happening to people? But we know it's the same old question...it's been happening for years and we can only use it for what it's worth. We're here, this is it, and if we think we're heading to something bigger and better and brighter down the road, we're fools. Here we are, on stage, alive. End of story.

I hate plane food. I want vegetables.

We're barely able to believe what's going on in New Zealand and Australia....the album is blowing up and we're in heavy rotation on MTV and the national alternative radio station, triple j. Most of the shows are sold out. I'm not even sure what to expect. The last time I was in Austrlia it was 2000 and I was on my own, performing the Eight Foot Bride at the Adelaide fringe festival. I almost got arrested twice.

On a brighter note (I should tattoo “don't post under the influence of less than 5 hours sleep in a 48 hour period” to my left hand), I've developed a new art form that keeps me from feeling I am entirely creatively zombified on the road. Together with Manta, who came on the tour to do morning martial arts exercises (www.shintaido.org) in addition to being the offical tour videographer, we have been carving out the framwork of a revolution in bad taste and narcissistic media.

It is called Karaoke Verité.

It fuses the art of film with the kitsch of karoake and basically amounts to me making ridiculous lipsyched videos in my free time as a kind of emotional/physical travelogue. For the time being, I am using the music of other artists. You can take a stab. The first one will be posted by christmas, I hope. I hope she doesn't sue.

6 comments:

Meredith said...

relationships are hard. me and my bf took a roadtrip this summer... needless to say the first half of it was nonstop bickering and complaining. i blame both of us equally. though, the last half was more than worth the whole trip, for we found our new past time adventure of discovering the pleasure of "coming together" in rare and public places around the states. once we were back i thought we would hang away from eachother for a while, but being apart wasn't an option anymore. don't worry A, after this adventure, all the shit will flush away.

Josephine said...

The Annandale show completely blew me away, something that no band has done since...I can't even remember the last time. I really like the live album too, but I have no idea who Barry Lydon is. Can anyone enlighten me? The contortionist was awesome too! But the supports. The less said...

Thankyou dolls, Amanda has inspired me to keep making music, intelligent, dramatic music with a sense of humour. And they're both gorgeous too.

Jo

Jarboe said...

Amanda--

I live in Acton, MA. I think you'll actually know where that is. Not too many people do. You may or may not remember me from a couple of Boston area shows, for example the Avalon around Halloween. I believe I kissed your hand and asked you to marry me. In Paris. You laughed.

Anyway.

I want to thank you for several things.

1.) Helping me come out of the closet as a piano lover, and now I attempt to play. I'd -like- to learn to read music... But none of it makes any sense. It's like reading a menu in Chinatown.

2.) This past year has been full of surprises and dumb fucks. You... touch things that need touching. Let's all hear it for those three little words, as I once saw someone write them, "Statue-Tory Rape".

Just... Thank you for that.

3.) Look, I drew a picture of you.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/tatsuchan/amandalove.jpg

4.) These are no longer thanks, but I think you understand. If you're feeling easily amused, try http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/ or http://www.nataliedee.com/

5.) All else fails, just explode.


Much love,

--tait jarbeau

Diary-Thinker said...

CONGRATULATIONS - i just read that on channel 4 teletext you have been put on the list for top new acts of the year in Engaland, in his review he compared you to sisters of mercy. Nice to see a bonus vid in your album, i really liked the design, as with the look of your site. Also i-tunes have released your single, but i could not download it because it was restricted to the U.S market. There is a BLOG-RING dedicated to 'DRESDEN DOLLS' at XANGA.COM, i did not create it, but i did join it. I do play the guitar, but just basic level really-i just play piano music on it-i have a problem with timing. I have an e-book on the Japanese guy who played the piano theme for the Bowie film 'MERRY CHRISTMAS MR LAWRENCE' - there is a nice tune, i have forgotten the site i got it from.

elodie said...

hi
just to tell you:
your music is the best music i have EVER heard. Its my favorite. I'm addicted to it. Its the best.

Danielle Martin said...

hello, i just wanted to wish you guys luck and say that you are rock stars in all the ways that count. Why should you have to booze away your talent to prove it.And i think its amazing that you find time within your buzy scedule to excersise while i have all the time in the world and still manage to grow increasingly fat. And avril lavigne is scarely addicting. 8)

Qu0te

• When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why God? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off" - Stephen Kin