09/29/03 - aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

we are going on tour tomorrow.
the last week has spun my head and i am not even remotely focused on what i am doing at this moment,
because i have 457 things in my head, all wanting to be thought about.

we have a nice blue tour van, we named him ludwig. ludwig van.
i am leaving The Machine at home, but if we're in the vicinity of a computer i'll check in and write about
what is happening to our little band out in the Big World.

xxxxxxooooooooooo
amanda

09/20/03

i feel like an old, tired, dying sea sponge.

there has been no time for Fun.....all work, no play, not even any time to stop and wonder whether there will be a time later.
how difficult it is to be continually excited about everything that's going on with the band when all it amounts to at the moment is more and more work that seems less and less creative.

everybody keeps telling me that this is the artist's plight.

09/10/03

late at night, again, and i am here, sitting behind The Machine.

i had another one of my rare freak-outs this evening, where i look at the schedule, the list of things to do, and the reality of the next few weeks and say
"good lord jesus, i am not going to sleep much less have time to do things that aren't priorities like...sleeping." and playing the piano.
all of this business crap has dented the creative process in a nasty way.
instead of musical ideas floating through my head, there are income statement inconsistancies. something, i think, is Not Right.