tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post6601952932721874474..comments2023-11-02T08:46:55.156-04:00Comments on The Dresden Dolls Diary: vaginablog.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-37902815390615030632008-09-28T00:19:00.000-04:002008-09-28T00:19:00.000-04:00http://www.bloggingwv.com/the-most-offensive-world...http://www.bloggingwv.com/the-most-offensive-world-records/ can you beat that woman? <BR/><BR/>"MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH<BR/><BR/>Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina (this, for the uniformed, is what one calls a loose, sloppy **insert vulgar label for female genitalia here**)."sophiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16005799382576725900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-46497774327638997482008-08-30T07:04:00.000-04:002008-08-30T07:04:00.000-04:00Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. What ARE we going to do wi...Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. What ARE we going to do with you, hmm?<BR/><BR/>Would just like to mention at this point that my boyfriend broke up with me last night, I was still crying this morning, but then I put on my Dresden Dolls CDs, live downloads, everything, read your blog for the trillionth time, and I've been dry-eyed since, except with tears of laughter.<BR/><BR/>Thank you!<BR/><BR/>xXxrealpaintheoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10901697979010183207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-47563950006555076242008-08-23T09:02:00.000-04:002008-08-23T09:02:00.000-04:00I love the part where the Stepford Wife says, "Hon...I love the part where the Stepford Wife says, "Honestly, the only thing you have to lose? Is hope! Haha!"<BR/><BR/>...because hope is a trifling thing! And because the sketchball hair straightener only costs a negligible $99.95. O_o<BR/><BR/>Infomercials are SO fucking creepy.Maxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00568054586014122418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-73174635652838047332008-08-08T17:09:00.000-04:002008-08-08T17:09:00.000-04:00I have to be completely honest, this blog made me ...I have to be completely honest, this blog made me laugh a whole lot. Although, I know I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. It reminds me of the time I had a bad infection in my ear piercing. My ear swelled to 2x its size so you couldn't even see the earring anymore. I freaked out and went to the doctor who said upon looking at it, "There's an earring in there?" That was comforting. I insisted against seeing a plastic surgeon so the doctor took it out and drained it. It was quite painful, but I did get to miss some school. Foreign objects anywhere is a threat to health everywhere. ;D<BR/><BR/>-CCarlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14937228519927110661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-43673391309182011252008-07-31T04:37:00.000-04:002008-07-31T04:37:00.000-04:00Still loving your blogs and your music, but I'm a ...Still loving your blogs and your music, but I'm a little sad that you don't write old friends back anymore.Deconstructionismhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07916067045855001172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-5533473515287781342008-07-29T09:14:00.000-04:002008-07-29T09:14:00.000-04:00Man... i mean, i didn't stop reading or anything, ...Man... i mean, i didn't stop reading or anything, but, uhh, maybe a Vagina Warning next time or something... I didn't know these things happened; i'm not sure i wanted to know... =0 My fragile, male mind, Amanda!Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08640770705948611352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-52487784625337442622008-07-26T22:35:00.000-04:002008-07-26T22:35:00.000-04:00Thanks for this amazing, amusing, disgusting, and ...Thanks for this amazing, amusing, disgusting, and intense post Amanda! Posts like this one are why I keep coming back to your blog.<BR/><BR/>Please tell us that you'll take as good care of all your body parts as you took care of your vocal cords. Also, let's hope that your vagina never has to watch such horrifically confusing advertisements again, although you seem to have a pattern going so puhLEEZE be careful! Read the owner's manual, it's a delicate instrument.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for posting the videos too. I'm so looking forward to your new work. I've engulfed and devoured No Virginia ...Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08023829957100118573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-30908149134711106862008-07-26T18:06:00.000-04:002008-07-26T18:06:00.000-04:00I have no idea what to say. I saw you in concert a...I have no idea what to say. <BR/>I saw you in concert a few months ago--changes the world, it does, for the extremely artistically freedomly of goodness--<BR/>anyway, reading your blog really made me think,'amanda palmer is my hero.' i know what you're thinking: and i don't just like you for your massive vagina and/or vaginaly state of mind. it is nice to let things go.<BR/>when i finally decided to extract my tampon it wasn't even there. so i like to think that it fell out, because that would be awesome.<BR/>two at once!? i think too hard.<BR/>anyway, you're a great performer and everything, i never said that to you before, yesyesyes, and i love your soul, music, the way your brain hears it.<BR/>you gave me a flower. thankyou, it made me cry goodness. and feel good.<BR/>you are good.<BR/>im afraid to post this.fussyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08744426226167479332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-62581644828912180662008-07-26T14:24:00.000-04:002008-07-26T14:24:00.000-04:00Condomns can get stuck up your vagina.0.0 Seriousl...Condomns can get stuck up your vagina.0.0 Seriously? Shows how innocent I am.<BR/><BR/>I am going to say that your vagina must be like a black hole if you had to get tongs to blasted sponge out.<BR/><BR/>Your trip to the emergency room could make a very interesting song material.<BR/><BR/>That Maxiglide(gosh who comes up with these names) infomercial was hilarious from the 12 minutes I saw. The models had that "I'm going to kill you all" smile. I know it well. I had a choir teacher who had the very same smile.<BR/><BR/>I don't understand this new trend of straight hair? For years I wanted straight hair untill I got it straightend for a few days. I honestly didn't like it all that much it made me look much older and really didn't feel like me. Now I love my curly hair even though it can be a pain to manage at times.<BR/><BR/>Ah I want to see who killed Amanda Palmer. Was the same person who killed Amanda the same person who framed Roger Rabbit? I know bad joke but I couldn't let that one slide.Shenaniganshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868543210576826820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-28750774203076556002008-07-25T21:49:00.000-04:002008-07-25T21:49:00.000-04:00i'm in a wheelchair.you want to be an amputee. [no...i'm in a wheelchair.<BR/>you want to be an amputee. [no you don't]<BR/>you inspire me.<BR/>brown eyes and tampons.<BR/><BR/>cheers!<BR/><BR/>-JonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-89870399313354093522008-07-25T11:26:00.000-04:002008-07-25T11:26:00.000-04:00the first comment here reminded me of the time i s...the first comment here reminded me of the time i splattered my face in blood while pulling out my diva cup (also awesome). it got momentarily stuck on the way out, which resulted in this sort of trampoline effect at the opening of my vagina. the result: blood everywhere. i was laughing like a maniac in the bathroom and my husband was in the kitchen, cooking dinner and asking what the fuck could possibly be so amusing. <BR/><BR/>weirder, though, was when i was just entering puberty and, being one of those kids who always built her lego castles without consulting the directions, i decided to insert my first tampon in the same manner, never learning that the applicator must be removed. i walked around a whole day with that cardboard thing poking me, wondering how on earth women do this every single month, until finally giving in, reading the instructions, and pulling that shit out.<BR/><BR/>anyway, glad your vagina's okay. and mine. and everyone else's, for that matter!<BR/><BR/>see you at the brattle tomorrow night.Michelle Trottierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17531067517034261004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-79057275321263631752008-07-24T14:40:00.000-04:002008-07-24T14:40:00.000-04:00I've never tried this menstrual sponge, but oh, do...I've never tried this menstrual sponge, but oh, do I have a story about the "Today Sponge" contraceptive (as opposed to the "tomorrow sponge"). <BR/><BR/>So, my cousin, having been talked down from condoms by her idiot boyfriend, decides to start exploring other methods of contraceptive. She lands somehow upon the Today Sponge, and decides to test it out.<BR/><BR/>They work nicely one or two times, but about the third incident, instead of removing the sponge as directed, she rolls over and falls asleep.<BR/><BR/>The next morning, said boyfriend is at work by the time she wakes up and discovers that, yikes, she forgot to take out the sponge. No worries; she goes into the bathroom to pop a squat and fish it out. She grabs one part of it, <B>and it promptly tears off. </B><BR/><BR/>So, in a total panic, she begins to fish around desperately, always grabbing just the slightest, slimy corner and instead of pulling it out and ensuring her own safety, just rips the piece off. <BR/><BR/>She panics. She cries. She stops and takes a nap to calm herself down. <BR/><BR/>Upon awakening, she decides there is one person she can call and entrust all of this to: me. <BR/><BR/>So my cousin then proceeds to ask me to come fish something out of her vagina. I was flattered she chose me, but to tell you the truth, given the structure of my (and probably most people's) family, I'd need years upon years of therapy before I'd recover from that.<BR/><BR/>So she calls her boyfriend, he makes up a story to leave work, comes home, and using his freakish manual dexterity, manages to pull out the remaining pieces. <BR/><BR/>She did give me the last sponge as a token of appreciation for the thought, though.Alameda Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13469607361287720720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-2444189683707871012008-07-24T12:27:00.000-04:002008-07-24T12:27:00.000-04:00That story about the make-shift block party was fu...That story about the make-shift block party was fucking sweet. If only everything so wonderful could be replicated more often.<BR/><BR/>...<BR/><BR/>Did you just collectively get us all to third? <BR/><BR/>Thank you. [Lights cigarette]<BR/><BR/>Your honesty will never cease to amaze me. Thank you for that, as well. <BR/><BR/>...<BR/><BR/>I've never lost anything up in Vagina World. I'm always pretty on top of what's going on in there (ba-dum-cha!). I attribute this to reading one of those 'OMG EMBARRASSING!' stories in YM/Teen People/whatever mag as a youth, where a girl and her boyfriend were at the carnival, and they went on this ride that essentially let them jump into a big pool from really high up. The impact of how fast they landed in the water caused her tampon to SHOOT UP INTO HER and when she was digging around for it a couple hours later, she realized what was up and had to get it removed by the doctor. <BR/><BR/>Needless to say, the story stuck with me ever since the tender age of nine, and I've always kept track of foreign objects' entry and removal from the hoo-ha. <BR/><BR/>Otherwise, I'm a total guy about my period. That make sense? Not like I'm all grossed out about my own period (though, it's never really a pretty thing, is it?), it's just something that's THERE. Something that's gotta be dealt with. And then it's over, and I won't be an emotional wreck afterward. Sweet.<BR/><BR/>...<BR/><BR/>I don't know, Palmer, you think I should just go ahead with the sex change operation? It'd almost be easier. My track record has ended with me being ditched for dong about every time, whenever it's a lady involved, so perhaps I should just kill two birds with one stone? No more periods, no more fears of rejection/abandonment. <BR/><BR/>Cake for all!!<BR/><BR/>...<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, I like looking like a lady who likes ladies looking like ladies. What a conundrum; whatever shall I do? Such attitudes just aren't accepted in most of polite society. <BR/><BR/>Especially 'round here, the fuckwads. If only I could get out. <BR/><BR/>Oh wait. <I>I am.</I><BR/><BR/>Goodbye, <B>Ukiah, you fucking cunt.</B> Hello motherfucking <B>Santa Cruz.</B> September will be the month to look forward to. <BR/><BR/>I've run into some trouble with some of the individuals around here who I thought would be in this band I'm trying to get together. Santa Cruz will hopefully prove more fruitful in my efforts. Perhaps some chance encounter will happen as it did with you and Mr. Viglione and I'll meet someone/some persons who I can click with artistically as well as musically, and wonderful things will come out of it. Perhaps I WON'T BE surrounded by a bunch of douchebags who misinterpret tripping balls and listening to Tool as the fool-proof way to gain inspiration/insight. <BR/><BR/>WOW I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE! <BR/><BR/>...<BR/><BR/>Bagina nicknames:<BR/><BR/>My mother's Philippina, and for some reason, when I was growing up, she referred to that area as 'The Precious.'<BR/><BR/>I don't recall much of the LOTR series, but what I DO recall was tittering like a damned idiot every time Gollum mentioned his need for his 'precious...MY precious!' Actually, just thinking about it makes me giggle.<BR/><BR/>Do not EVEN get me started on <I>Silence of the Lambs.</I><BR/><BR/>...<BR/><BR/>vaginavaginavaginabaginabaginavagina.June Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01178004193962192649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-60090758453951330952008-07-24T08:46:00.000-04:002008-07-24T08:46:00.000-04:00Hi Amanda,I'm a 46 to mother of 2 girls (9 &am...Hi Amanda,<BR/>I'm a 46 to mother of 2 girls (9 & 7) and I think you're extremely unique.<BR/>I love your songs especially 'miss me' I think I had to have a cold shower after that. (probably because of the person I was thinking about when you were singing!)(and your singing of course).<BR/>Please don't stop.<BR/><BR/>I'm glad the Aussies showed you a good time.<BR/><BR/>Cheers <BR/>- JacquiGOODTIMECHARLIEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05702254048860046434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-37379545890795644562008-07-23T23:04:00.000-04:002008-07-23T23:04:00.000-04:00I understand about the crazy comments that lady pa...I understand about the crazy comments that lady parts doctors make. Without fail, my doc Blanche remarks on what a lovely 4 tiered uterus i have, that it is, in fact, perfect. I didn't realize it had tiers. <BR/><BR/>I will certainly have to try out that sponge....soprano8908https://www.blogger.com/profile/13538760544738848377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-69021858012447144992008-07-23T19:06:00.000-04:002008-07-23T19:06:00.000-04:00I am so in love with you.Best VaginaStoryEVER!You ...I am so in love with you.<BR/><BR/>Best <BR/>Vagina<BR/>Story<BR/>EVER!<BR/><BR/>You could sell these stories. Maybe buy yourself a new bike with the proceeds. (Two of mine have been stolen as well...)<BR/><BR/>Once when I was putting myself through college and was tremendously poor, I bought dollar-tree tampons.<BR/>The buggers disintegrated in my cooter as soon as I pulled on the string. I spent the next hour in the bathtub balanced precariously with a douche hose in one hand, and the other hand with my index finger in the shape of a hook up there fishing for tiny bits of bloody cotton.<BR/><BR/>Good times.<BR/><BR/>So, yeah. One more vagina story for your memory bank.<BR/>Seriously, all these should be compiled somewhere. <BR/><BR/>Better than the vagina monologues.<BR/><BR/>LOVE!<BR/>Manda<BR/>Postscript: Come to Colorado Springs. I have cookies.avandamandershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01053698306510815696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-47056714779070280492008-07-23T14:33:00.000-04:002008-07-23T14:33:00.000-04:00After reading this blog, there is no way in hell i...After reading this blog, there is no way in hell i'm uisng a sponge!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12051323748495743886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-16410673878183858322008-07-23T14:04:00.000-04:002008-07-23T14:04:00.000-04:00Vagina Monologues - The Alternative Version.Vagina Monologues - The Alternative Version.eladhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03298799093333676287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-82591419939145069642008-07-23T14:01:00.000-04:002008-07-23T14:01:00.000-04:00Hey, I'm back again.So I meant to put this up befo...Hey, I'm back again.<BR/><BR/>So I meant to put this up before and then forgot.<BR/><BR/>When I used to blog regularly, about 2 years ago, I made the following post. I just recently happened upon it and it made me smile a little bit. I also realized how I must have had one of your songs stuck in my head because, well, you'll get it when you read it. Thanks for being in my brain.<BR/><BR/>.......<BR/><BR/><BR/>Thursday June 29th 2006<BR/><BR/>sweet and sour<BR/><BR/>have you ever opened up your inbox to one of those “win your FREE* $500 gift card now” emails? i get them all the time. then delete without even looking. i mean to even “get it” you have to sign up for things that cost money, so what’s the point? that’s what the * is there for anyways. ya, but today when I woke up I felt different. i was just like, fuck this, fuck it. i’m gonna do it! i want want my FREE* $500, $400, $250, or $.50 gift card if you’ll give it to me. so i opened the email. i filled out the questions. i checked the boxes. one of the promos that came up was for a poetry site. “enter your poem and get a chance to win blah blah blah”. so im sitting at my computer thinking, shit, if i have to do one of these i may as well do the one where i get to write. and completely tired, half asleep, no contacts, uninspired i wrote this:<BR/><BR/>sweet and sour<BR/><BR/>at the same time<BR/><BR/>if i look away<BR/><BR/>i fear you’ll be gone<BR/><BR/>if i keep looking<BR/><BR/>i fear you’ll still be there<BR/><BR/>despite these techniques<BR/><BR/>there’s still no avoiding<BR/><BR/>in fact<BR/><BR/>let’s just keep to ourselves<BR/><BR/>it makes it easier<BR/><BR/>to face the day<BR/><BR/>and if by tomorrow<BR/><BR/>my fears have not subsided<BR/><BR/>i’ll simply turn my head the other way<BR/><BR/>to, i’m sure, something even more uninviting<BR/><BR/>and hit the submit button. laughing. at me. at the poem. at the unvaluable, detatched, simplicity of it all. it took five minutes and came from nowhere and doesn’t even apply to me at this point in time. and yet, somehow, it was mine. it was mine like how a scab or a bruise is yours. it’s ugly and not something you want to flaunt but you earned it. you earned it by falling, or tripping, or self mutilation, or whatever. and you’ll defend it if necessary. it’s simply meaningful by just existing. because you were part of it’s creation.<BR/><BR/>so for all the priceless, meaningless things we take for granted and hold dear, i dedicate this.<BR/><BR/>XOXO<BR/><BR/>andreaandreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07913929047899255513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-84510194217499661312008-07-23T13:40:00.000-04:002008-07-23T13:40:00.000-04:00i'm glad that you and your vagina are OK. I always...i'm glad that you and your vagina are OK. I always think of the weirdest ways that people could die. Never ever have I considered a vagina sponge to be someone's end..<BR/><BR/>even in your life threatening mistakes do you continue to be creative.Kelley Kippermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05766266080684550515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-18737243143478899442008-07-23T13:28:00.000-04:002008-07-23T13:28:00.000-04:00Vagina monoblogs = funny. (Very glad it didn't kil...Vagina monoblogs = funny. (Very glad it didn't kill you, Amanda. Death-by-moldy-vagina-sponge = not cool.) You know, I heard that if you put five different species of sea sponge in a blender, blend em up good, then pour the blended-sponge-juice into a bowl of salt water.. the five different sponges will not only gradually separate and re-form into sponges, but will separate out and re-form into their original sponge species. A bit like the Terminator. (It does not work with hamsters though. Don't try this at home.) True story! So. Put that in your vagina and, er, smoke it.KatyMayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11141664107811183635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-7046428224296558142008-07-23T13:24:00.000-04:002008-07-23T13:24:00.000-04:00I love how everyone comments first on the vagina s...I love how everyone comments first on the vagina story and only afterwards the music. Dear dear... You do have some power as a storyteller. Seriously, the videos are brilliant. I think my heart stopped when the shuttle exploded in “Astronaut”. I should probably see a doctor about that. Eh. I’m sure it can wait. (I hear voices too)<BR/><BR/>Ha ha. I need a new bike too, due to my own inattentiveness and oddity. I was chasing an airplane while biking and the concrete got in the way. And I had almost caught it! Grr... Maybe we should switch to roller blades?<BR/><BR/>You may be amused to know that both my brothers now love the Dresden Dolls, and that one of them is a classical trombonist who, to my knowledge, does not like punk at all (or really anything with english vocals). And yet. :3 Such is the power of Amanda Palmer. Come back to Montreal!<BR/><BR/>Good luck with the music and cleaning and whatnot. Don’t explode.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02570782849065184180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-75421406189764744192008-07-23T13:16:00.000-04:002008-07-23T13:16:00.000-04:00AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!Blackbeardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01316704722812551290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-61606968886427240932008-07-23T13:14:00.000-04:002008-07-23T13:14:00.000-04:00No, Vagina! (surprised no one pulled that gem out ...No, Vagina! (surprised no one pulled that gem out sooner! *bad-dum-pish*)<BR/><BR/>Never did leave something in too long... But I did once forget I had a tampon in, and figured the stringy thing hanging out of me had to be a worm or parasite of some type, and so I freaked out. OMG. Then I realised what it was, and promptly banged my forehead onto the sink a coupla times.Dangahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15166229908852756953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9394978.post-47639357922157798262008-07-23T12:48:00.000-04:002008-07-23T12:48:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.KatyMayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11141664107811183635noreply@blogger.com