Sunday, January 08, 2006

Oversaturation VS Mystique: round one

here seems the most appropriate place to bring the discussion.

the band, with it's never-ending crop of images and sound, has been led recently into a dialogue about overkill/oversaturation and when enough is enough. Everybody has their very different opinions about this, as, of course, everybody interested in the band (or products of the band) has their own agenda as well. Who the fuck is interested anyway and why? in what and how and how much and when is too much?

I hadn't thought too too much about it before. But the conversation was kicked off with the Sheet Music book, and then everything else got called into question. We live in the age of uberinformation, this we all know. I myself fall victim to it on a minutely basis, flailing late at night to pointlessly google one more obscure song reference, obsessively checking my email and cramming things into my head, reaching for ANYTHING to read when waiting ANYWHERE, unable to stop the floodgate of words and images that bombard me constantly, the mind candy that makes me think and ponder but rarely leaves me time to reflect. If I could read in my sleep, I would. But I shouldn't. i am currently reading a book called "in praise of slowness" and though i'd only recommend the first two chapters, the point is well taken. there's just too much shit, period.

We first realized that we needed to print sheet music about two years ago, when we started getting requests. people emailed asking for tabs and notation. then more people asked. then enough people asked for me to get off my ass and find a local guy in boston who could transcribe the songs (I can't write - and can barely read - musical notation) and the project seemed to be simple enough. But this being an Amanda Project, it was destined to take two more years, while I expanded and expanded the damn thing until the point where the actual musical notes and tabs seemed more like an Afterthought compared to the rest of the shit in the book.

i will admit it: I am an archivist of myself. I am a shameless archivist of the band. so it just seemed to make sense. Where and when else would have a limitless public 2D portfolio in which to cram all of the photos and notes and crap that has accumulated in various boxes over the years...boxes marked "of interest, to somebody, somewhere - do not throw away"? So I wrote a long introduction that ended being about 20 pages, pasted togehter all of the various album-related notes and photos and gave it to various friends to criticize and edit. Now, you see, I am not a prose writer. I can fake it as a blogger but you don't realize how forgiving you are being, yes you, as you sit there and read this. There are typos and run-ons and I am simply emptying out un-edited head-shit into your brain. Holding a book is different. a book is Real.

anyway, the thing grew and grew. ummmm. If i'm going to talk about this, i reasoned, why not that? and that? and that? and that and that and that? and so it went, becoming young-amanda-biography, band-biography, songwriter-101, and piano un-lesson all in one. i can't even read the whole damn thing myself, it spins my head. i think i will stick to writing blogs and songs in the future. my friend that knows me best says it all: "you use too many words". but that's beside the point. the point is, when we got to the 200-page completion of this beast, i had another Bright Idea. the Bright Idea was to include a DVD in the back of the book that held a 20-minute impromptu interview i did in the summer of 2003 with Wojtek Gwiazda, who was a film-making friend of my landlords who just happened to be in town with his fancy camera, sleeping upstairs. he wandered down into my bombed-looking mess of a kitchen, artwork and glue strewn everywhere and said

"what the hell is happening here?"
"I am making our album artwork."
"can i film you?"
"fuck yeah".

it was as simple as that, and wojteck (a charming and wonderful polish-canadian) came down and filmed. but this being the Cloud Club and the Cloud Club being what it is, the interview was of course also riddled with the Big Questions. why am i doing this. what is album artwork. and on and on. and mind you, i never thought this would really be seen by anyone, in fact, i forgot it existed for a while. i am in my boxer shirts and a stained wife-beater, all red and freckled from the july outside, looking like the unwashed, sleepless, manic, harried, starry-eyed workaholic that i was that month - two months before the record came out on our label. there's this great piece of spinach in my teeth. but there's also this beauty to it....this quiet, july morning, ivy-in-the-windows beauty that soaks onto the floor and into the discussion. it's ten in the morning, it's summer, it's roasting hot, pope is probably on the front steps drinking coffee, lee is probably upstairs screwing a tree to a picture frame, the birds outside are going nuts. it's perfect.

so, i thought, this 20-minute piece of thing would be the perfect addition to the Sheet Music Book, which, by this point, had evolved into an Epic Album Companion Coffee Table Extravaganza. Anything and Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The First Dresden Dolls Album, where the songs came from, how the album was recorded....on and on. and this is where the resistance hit. pope and our Magic Manager cocked an eyebrow. isn't it a little overboard? isn't it just a little self-indulgent? do you REALLY need to include 20 minutes of yourself rambling on in your kitchen about the album artwork? don't you talk about it in the introduction?

i argued: i like it. i think the fans will like it. i think it's interesting. am i crazy?

no, they said, you're not crazy, but maybe you have no perspective. so i tried to look at things from their point of view. but i didn't agree. so more arguments ensued. it's expensive. it adds to the cost of the book. but - i argued - won't the added DVD be an incentive for people to buy it? no, they said, it won't. really? i have no experience with this, i said, i can only follow my gut. my gut says include it.

i sat with brian and our photographer friend kelly davidson and we watched it. i asked for their opinion. cut it, they said. so i cut some fat off of it.

then the late night discussions. what would elvis do? what would neil do? what would the beatles do? living in an image and video-saturated world, should we add our constant two cents or hold back? less is more. is less more?
wait, isn't more more? if less is more? what's more? less? is more less? if more is less, and less is more, doesn't that mean that more is still more? aghhghahghhhhAGAHAAGhhhhhghhahhahg.
oh, the ashtrays filled and the night wore on.

Manager says: "You need to protect your Mystique."
Amanda says: "But I don't want a Mystique. Has nobody noticed this obvious fact?"

this is where the blog came up in the conversation. Amanda says: it seems to me, a lot of people out there seem to appreciate the fact that brian and i have no interest in being Rock Stars and Superhumans With Mystique.
the manager says: but the printed word is very different from the visual image.

then i ate a christmas fish with a friend who used to work in the music business for a long, long time. he said: amanda, you will rue the day you stuck your hand in that toilet on your DVD. you aren't protecting your image. you're forcing people to ingest self-indulgent nonsense. why did you include that hour-long documentary on your DVD? It's BORING. you're not jessica simpson. get over it. you should not be directing the dresden dolls reality show.

in the wake of that, poetically, i needed to address the question of what to do with the 80+ hours of tour footage we shot on the october tour. edit it into another DVD? put it up in installments on the web? turn it into an andy warhol-esque art project, where we just stream 80 hours of footage of the band endlessly in the internet? so many choices. but all the recent feedback echoes in my head. we can output and output, but should we? discussions abounded. now i am confused. my gut has always served me well, but i also have no interest in being a stubborn, headstrong, sunset-boulevard casualty of my own archivist vanity. it's hard to know what to do. the superfans of the band will certainly be interested in any and everything, but they aren't the majority. how careful do we need to be? doesn't everyone edit everything as they want it nowadays ANYWAY? it's the FUTURE.

i have always been insecure about my totally narcissistic personality. i used to curse and psychically mutilate myself for years in high school and college, convinced that my own selfishness and vanity made it impossible for me to make a single authentic move, from writing a song to having a friendship to fucking brushing my teeth. my life was a movie. i like to think that i've transformed my attention-needing personality into something relatively constructive, and i've definitely managed through years of thinking and listening to understand myself better, to know when to step out of the spotlight, to shut the fuck up and listen instead. but it remains a sensitive nerve, i wonder why....i am actually making my living getting attention, up there on stage, applauded, focused on. and this is supposed to be normal (while in the back of my head all i hear is the tall adults of tiny childhood saying from above "just ignore her, she's just trying to get attention, poor girl" - sound familiar?). this is fingernails-on-the-blackboard-territory for me. i will never be fully confidant as close as i may feel, it's always possible for someone to stick an easy nail in my achilles' heel. just mumble the word "selfish" or better yet "attention-whore" and i'm likely to be seen in a corner taking deep breaths, trying very hard to quiet the bawling 8-year old inside.

in other news: christmas came and went, new years came and went (we played On Stage at our san francisco show with the String Cheese Incident, thus bursting our jamband hymens), and the 4-foot pine trees lay lifeless all over the sidewalks of new york this morning, waiting to be carted away by some magical elves.

AND

if your interest was piqued: the sheet music book/Epic Album Companion Coffee Table Extravaganza/200-page monster (with interview included....yes, i won the argument....pyrrhic victory? time will tell) is now officially on sale for pre-order on the webstore:

http://www.jsrdirect.com/bands/dresdendolls/

17 comments:

June Miller said...

Allow me to be a bit narcisstic, and make this comment about me, just for a bit. I hope you still read these things.

Well, one part of this long post (yes, I do tend to read all of it) did stick out to me a lot. while in the back of my head all i hear is the tall adults of tiny childhood saying from above "just ignore her, she's just trying to get attention, poor girl" - sound familiar?). Honestly? Not really. I was almost always the shyest person in the room. I still freak out to this day come my birthday, because I can't handle the attention of everyone's eyes on me as they sing "Happy Birthday" directly at me. However, that was definately me at my most intrapersonal, back when I was a youngin. Over the past few years, I've become more comfortable with becoming the center of attention, if not totally relish in it.

I'm only bringing this up because, without trying to sound like the insane stalker-type, from what I've read in your interviews, and all such Dolls-related publications, you seem to be a lot like myself. When you mentioned hearing those 'old people' voices somewhere in the back of your mind, that definately struck a chord with my little old self. You're just a scared girl like the rest of us (except the boys).

THAT's why mystique can be overrated. People, at least the Dolls fans I could think of, like your band because you're actually relatable on some level, and that plus the music adds to your appeal. Maybe not to the masses, but to the right crowd for YOU.

Relish in the attention the fans give you, because they honestly do think you're one of the most wonderful people on Earth. But don't let that go to your head, because that could make them turn on you, you know?

However, I sound like some self-help guru, so I'll just end right there. I'm listening to The Fugees, I just had a cigarette, and I'm feeling good.

Oh. I met you for a second down in San Francisco, but I made an asshole of myself, and I'm really sorry. Next time y'all are around, I'll make it a point to apologize to you in person.

Karl said...

Us fans are already fucking happy.

Just give us music and anything else you do will be brownie points.

I'd be happy to transcribe your next album's songs myself. (I think I've already done most of them already...).

Mika said...

Every surviving note Neal Cassady ever scribbled, snapshot Allen Ginsburg ever clicked, word-collage William Burroughs ever snipped from a magazine is fodder for adulation and academic examination today.

Their art was, as yours is, intimately bound up with their lives. The lives and the art are by now practically indistinguishable from one another.

Mystique may be an appropriate concept for marketing some bands. It's not for marketing yours.

Your documentaries, like the one on the Paradise dvd, and interviews, like the one with the sheet music book, provide hope that Jessica Simpson's is not a reality show we have to be stuck with.

xo,
mika

md said...

The music buch:
Seeing as it is that and only either musicians or superfans will buy it because of that…go ahead and put in a little extra. I did not know there would be all this fun time spent wonder going on in the sheet music book until you wrote about it here, maybe you should advertise that more, made me more interested. There are people who think you do show too much, definitely, with your DVD anyhow. Showing you off to some folks… they didn’t really frocking care for the documentary, then I play Pierre for them…
I will watch your little fun crafty DVD of sunshine touched paste, I don’t know about everyone though. I don’t think anyone will complain that you did add it unless they are referring to the price upage, “aaaaah! Who the fudge added a dvd in this! Wtfaljkasoujoiuajlk;a! smash…(starts reading music and playing piano)” or if they are deaf and are tortured because you didn’t add subtitles to it so it is just another Dresden doll thang that they can’t listen to… but that wouldn’t make sense, I mean for one thing deaf people are just myths…and they can’t read.
Extra footage: ? Is it of shows or before shows? Both? Yes? The shows would be fun to see… maybe more money can be made, do you need more money? Are you asking if we would like to see them, yes, put em out somehow, don’t spend loads of time on them editing wise.

God damnit stop being so god damn narcissistic and caring about what others think you whiney attention getter.
Really though, you shouldn’t worry about that kind of stuff (too much liking of ones self, that is), other things are more worth worrying about…
But I don’t know you. Suck on a Barbie foot.
With reading everything and not pondering about it: I think that is the wrong way to go. im sure you want to know all, you do know a lot, but think about it. at least you recognize that you don’t think.
You should slow the fuck down.
Fingers curl over
As someone bites the tips.
Tale still lodged in place
No one pulled it off.
Vomit.
Slow down, digest.

Domestibot said...

I believe it's something like 3:30 in the morning... I really shouldn't be awake, tommorow is my last day of work for all eternity (like, maybe a month. Seems like a while anyway)

I had these elaborate plans for ending my employment by going out in a blaze of glory, but it looks like I'll just sputter out in a poof of exhaustion. Maybe if I sleep through the day, it'll go quicker. I think commenting to your entry is about as cool as pulling off whatever grandiose caper I had come up with.

To start off with, The Dresden Dolls aren't even really what I would categorize as... music. I know that's a lousy way to start a comment, but hear me out, it was the best way I could think to begin. What I mean to say is, like... Whenever I crank up the volume on my MD player and listen to a song from some rock group, I know I'm listening to music. I think this has to do with a few things... one, the bands I'm listening to I know virtually nothing about them, their lives, why they're writing the songs they are, etc... and two, because while I'm listening to these bands I would have no problem with zoning out and focusing on something else. .. The music doesn't really do anything for me but make the time pass by quicker.

Then there's you... I'm not sure I feel like a "diehard fan." There is evidence to support that I would hunt you down and stalk you for the rest of your life, and then there's also just... well, counterevidence.

First off, your merchandise. Now, in all my twenty years of this phenomenon called "life" I've never collected anything before. I think I tried with stamps and was successful in collecting two or something, but... starting just this past year, I watch myself end up on your website and buying just about everything you put out. My brain is nearly completely blank while I perform this exercise, I'm not thinking "MUST BUY!" or "God, I have to have this." it's just... I don't know. I would compare it to masturbation. You find yourself with nothing to do, and suddenly next thing you know, you're just doing it. I have a shelf which I have metamorphisized completely into a makeshift musuem of Dresden Doll Memorabilia.

But here's the thing, I don't worship you or feel any of the things that fans tend to feel... I don't bow down to you and get all googly eyed when I see you perform. I suppose it's similar to my roommate, who obsessively collects Star Trek Models, replicas, DVD box sets, and watches every episode now and again... but Star Trek isn't her life, and she doesn't consider herself a Trekkie... in her words, she's just "trekked." I can relate, and feel much the same way about you. What would that be called? "Dolled?" I don't shave my eyebrows and paint nice ones on. That's who you are... but I like you. I feel like I know you, and that's because you don't leave much room for "mystique." Hearing about your life in the form of a DVD or what you write here in your blog is sort of like keeping in touch with an old friend. One that moved away and I care about. I like listening to what you have to say, and I don't care how many times you say the same thing in different format, be it DVD, blog, VHS, morse code or whatever. If you want to include the DVD, that's great. I mean, the footage exists for a reason, right?

Then your music... There is an air of difference from it than anything else I listen to. Even though it's true I can multitask while listening to your music, it's like... I dunno, I start to feel something very tiny in my soul when any of your songs are playing... like some small part inside of me is listening very, very intently to what you're playing and what you have to say. It's a pleasant experience, and I don't get that feeling when listening to other bands, which is why I pretty much categorize you seperately from other Music...

You're not perfect, but you know what? Perfection is boring. You do what you love and you're genuine and true to yourself, as far as I can tell. That's fucking inspirational. Since I try to lead that lifestyle with my comic book writing, I feel as though "Hey, Amanda did it, so can I!" and it helps me get off my procrastinating ass and get some work done.

I think I just want to thank you for being as open as you are. Regardless of whether or not the songbook included a DVD, I would buy it, and not just because it would be great for my collection of your stuff (to which I frequently doubletake and wonder just when the hell did I GET this stuff?!) but even if I didn't watch it right away, there could be some rainy day that springs up, and I'll pop it in my player cause... I haven't seen it yet. And in those twenty minutes where you're being interviewed, my undivided attention is all on you and Brian... and wouldn't that make it worth it?

Take care Amanda. I think that if you feel you're not overindulging the fans with Dresden Doll knowledge, then... well, you're not. You would know where the line is on "too much," and everyone probably has a different line.

MaxRob said...

i would have buy it with or without the dvd add. so I did infact. i think the right point is to preserve your creativity by not feeding people with everything you produce. it's true that fans love and want to have everything about the band, and so nothing should be left out, but a selection of what it's worth would increase the attention of people, you don't have to put yourself in a realityshow. and I, as a fan, don't expect to have a day-per-day chronicle. you're doing a great thing by realizing this blog, and there's a lot of places where fans can listen to live recordings and unreleased song and more. that's it, you don't want to act like superockstars, and that's why people love you more. and you don't have to get mad about people really expect. oversaturation makes people bored at long distance.
hold on amanda.

maxrob

A Unique Alias said...

If you want to make money, then delegate the archival and chronicling and marketing tasks to the right people.

If you want to make art, then don't listen to the business managers and so forth - - just make art.

If you want to make music, then put down the effing gluestick and the construction paper.

Lou Ming said...

Dear Amanda-whom-I-do-not-know,

I recently purchased a ticket for your solo performance in NYC in February. Two months ago I knew not who the fuck you (or Brian) were. Now I own the DVD, and both the "A" album and Roadrunners pressing of your studio album.

So, I like your work.

You spoke about over-saturation and releases and instinct vs. management.

I swear to you: your obvious talent will overwhelm any bobby-pin/toilet bowl issues.

You are a creative shotgun shell of an artist. Beauty, blood and shit flying everywhere, and you're still young. Don't release everything now, but don't shit-can it either.

Save everything and wait for a time when you're not so busy fucking growing.

I've read you're working on your next album. That's alot of work, and you're playing everywhere, that's alot more work.

If it's valid now, it'll be valid then.

Focus. Breathe. Archive.

yer pal,
Ming

p.s. I look forward to seeing your show at Joe's Pub.

shadowplay said...

Amanda,

One thing that no-one has said here is that you might want to protect *yourself*. Publishing yourself like ed-TV gives people the means to get obsessed with, and criticize things about you that have nothing to do with your art. I'm sure it's hard enough as it is to protect 1) yourself from critiques of your art, 2) your art itself from other people's criticism.

Video snapshots of yourself are a bit like tatoos, in that they reflect the mood and person you are when you created them. Edit well, leave out things that you feel could hurt you if they are misused by fans, stalkers, critics, enemies.

That said, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, and Tommy Lee don't seem to have been hurt at all by their overexposures! Pop culture is a voracious consumer, eliminating and forgetting almost as soon as it ingests.

Wayne makes an excellent point about modelling behavior for others (otoh I dunno what hir obsession with having a kid is!). Your providing a perfectly mundane look at your life helps breaks down the myth that it's cool to be distressed and dark all the time, as well as the obverse myth that so-called "ordinary people" are uninteresting and shallow.

But nevermind the bullocks; A unique alias says it best in hir comment!

-- love & respect.
*goes to buy the sheet music*

hannah said...

i like you
and your boxer shorts
and your bobby pin in the toilet.

when i saw that i smiled like i had gone crazy
for 3-6 minutes.

mdhatter said...

Nah, i like the way you write, no-cap run ons and all.

Ramsey said...
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Ramsey said...
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Circular Reasoning said...

Any plans to do any more shows in Dublin, the temple bar show is just too little for us fans. Also, it says over 18s, so I am guessing ID is in order, great looking older than you are, bus drivers refuse fairs, but then you need an ID to get into things you'd pass for 18 for. Grrr.

Ramsey said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sonofabobo2 said...

I know this doesn't apply to this blog and that you probably won't read this far to see it, but have you guys ever thought of rerecording the tracks on 'a is for accident' in studio to make it even greater than it already is? hmm. check out my myspace at sonofabobo2. yeah. you guys are majestic.

MarkFarley said...

I think we can all say that too much Amanda is not a bad thing... but yes... you are barking.. xx